Day 36: Desteni Character

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become the Desteni character. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by/controlled by fear in thinking process will eliminate my fear of death and postpone my physical death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to,  as the Desteni character, think it is ok I do not have much money to travel-see beautiful earth- see my children much, buy things for my children as I will live longer and have the time to do this later. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, as the Desteni Character, think I have more time here on earth.

In that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, as the Desteni character think I will be vindicated/revenge will be mine as I watch all the ‘mean’ rich people I have known in my life wrinkle up and die while I will not, so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others as wrong and me as right, in polarity, and live in my head of illusion and fantasy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, as  Desteni Sub Characters, become ‘the savior’ and then if my message is not accepted ‘the rebel’, thinking I need to persuade family/friends that Desteni has the answer they have been searching for and equal money is, in fact, the answer to humanities miseries. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, as the Desteni Character, then think ‘they are just organic robots, as I was not long ago and I should not feel frustrated as they dont’ understand/can’t comprehend as they are mere mortals afterall’, in superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to particpate in backchat as the Desteni character that says ‘you’ve found your answer, no more searching, you found home‘ and then in polarity, ‘I am/will be criticized by Desteni as I do not ‘do enough’/I don’t have time to do enough/ they don’t like me/I wish I did not need them/groups never work out for me so why would this one…’all from the starting point of fear, fear of criticism/rejection which stems from my childhood , which I will be facing specifically in another blog.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus on certain aspects of process more than others and to think certain things are more difficult and so give myself an out, instead of remaining with the physcial before me and moving/doing a task with breath, go into the desteni character who is incompetent/slow/used to postponing/pausing to think/lying in bed contemplating THINKING  about how difficult process is/how much I have to do INSTEAD OF DOING IT.

I commit myself to breath awareness and so to breathe through revenge fantasies of living longer than others, as they arise as I now see/realize/understand this is illusion and based in total self interest and process is about assisting and supporting others as much as myself as creating world in which I/one would want to remain for eternity, out of the ego of the mind of self-interest, and down to earth as equality .

I commit myself to face my fears of age and death within my daily application/process, by using the tools of self-forgiveness and writing, and focus on being HERE in physicality and moving myself for real as I now see /realize/understand following these habitual thought patterns is only harmful and takes me away from my day and the task at hand and in no way serves the moment for myself or others but steals an opportunity to experience life here, instead of living as memories/an organic robot.

I commit myself to breath awareness so as to be aware of the backchat/thought patterns of fear of criticism, when it comes up, as a sub character of the Desteni character, as I now see realize/understand to engage/relate to such thoughts will only repeat the past and to run away/leave participation will result in massive timeloop in process and is repeating the past and not directing myself here.

I commit myself to stop myself when I see I am becoming the desteni character who believes she is slow/cannot do certain tasks/assignments/incompetent and so not focus on areas of process in equality, as I now see/realize/understand it is the mind that is directing me/stopping me, as in memories of past experience telling me that certain things are easy and other hard and to stay away/be afraid, and so I remain in limitation.

I commit to stop all such inner conversation /backchat which is of positive nature, in self-interest to make me feel ‘good/whole/life was worth it’ give me a reason to carry on, as cause, instead of feeling like a failure/life did not work out/I lost the game of life–in polarity, as I now see/realize/understand all such thought patterns -the old negative and the new positive desteni character -lead to a similar place as in if I am lost in my mind of illusion, I am not changing, I am not directing myself and I am not able to effectively support and assist others in their process, if I am the thinker, I am not the doer.

I commit to stopping myself in having/participation in an opinion about the response of others to the Desteni message, by only engaging if someone asks and is sincerely interested in self-corrective action and the equal money systemIn that , I commit to stopping myself to think in polarities, engage in polarity thing of right/wrong, superior/inferior and to focus on my process here in the physical and the task at hand. Support and assist self first and then eventually others.

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One response »

  1. “I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to particpate in backchat as the Desteni character that says ‘you’ve found your answer, no more searching, you found home‘ and then in polarity, ‘I am/will be criticized by Desteni as I do not ‘do enough’/I don’t have time to do enough/ they don’t like me/I wish I did not need them/groups never work out for me so why would this one…’all from the starting point of fear, fear of criticism/rejection which stems from my childhood , which I will be facing specifically in another blog.” – Cool Sandy!

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