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Stopping the ‘I’m a good person’ character (see: Sandy’s Journey To Life: Day 31-just below this blog) as it relates to fear.
It is important to read this entire blog to understand the 4 commitment statements, as the 4 ways to eradicate the fear in your life. Although I am focusing on one specific area of my life/personality, this process can be applied to all parts of yourself and your life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I have become/activated the ‘I’m a good person’ character BECAUSE OF self-interested FEAR, I have been unable to self-honestly, be with a person in the moment and really listen to them/hear them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, as the ‘I’m a good person’ character, I am engaging in the first thought as a word/pixel/picture that arises in my mind of : rejection, hate, friend, reward, like, won’t like, boss, picture of man/father/mother, money, smile, good, guilt, should, have to, from the starting point of fear-as in memories/files I have created and stored in my mind-all based on fear of survival in this world of competition.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I am engaging in inner conversation/backchat such as: I really should stop and talk to this person/give this person money as I havn’t for quite a while and they won’t like me, what does that say about me if I don’t give them my time/money today, I have to do this so they will like/accept me, just do it so they don’t bug you, I’ll just feel guilty if I don’t do this, you’ll be kicked out, you have no friends so just do it so you’re not alone, just suck up to this guy so he likes you, maybe I can get something-borrow money- from him if I do this , which is concerned with an external presentation/portrayal because of fear of survival, instead of working on myself, within who I am and how/what I live for real as in really listening to the person I am with and seeing how I can assist/support them in the moment, with no thoughts/inner talk going on in my mind, in relation to my past directing me/controlling my response.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, as the ‘I’m a good person’ character, that following this inner chatter brings up the emotions of anxiety building into fear, of my own survival in this world, how will I survive if I am alone/rejected? And guilt also building into fear, of karma/some future punishment if I do not ‘help/give’ to someone, of fear of getting into trouble if I do not behave a certain way/do a certain thing. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I am ‘acting’ from a starting point of fear and separation to get a certain want/need/desire fulfilled, based on my own self-interest and not for the benefit of the other, as one and equal to me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that this character, from the starting point of fear, causes my stomach to knot and eventually feel nauseous, my shoulders and neck to tense, my jaw to tighten and clench, heaviness/tiredness in eyes and muscles.
1. I commit myself to Stop Myself from living through/being directed by fear as the ‘I’m a good person’ character by being here, in breath awareness, each moment and so to be aware when that first thought as either word or picture/single pixel arise in my mind, as character activation, I now see/realize/understand to allow this initial thought sets in motion a whole slew of thoughts and reactions which then become the boss/force/director of my words and actions, as me, and this is not life but robotic responses as memories which have been imprinted into and as my very flesh. I realize it will take time/is a process to change myself to life and I remind myself to be kind and patient and grateful for what I have as an opportunity to now live within best for all life principals.
2. I commit myself to show, through writing, self-forgiveness and a daily self-corrective application, it is possible to be aware of and stop participation in following/relating to inner conversation/backchat in the form of sentences. In that, I commit to stop myself whenever I see I am engaging in this character, through listening to voices in the head/conversations-pros and cons of spending time with them from the starting point of what I will’ get out of it’ or fear of loss/survival instincts or fear of punishment in self-interest, as I now see realize understand I can offer my attention/assistance/support to another being, from the starting point of self-honesty here and focus on what they are saying, staying out of my mind, wanting/desiring/needing nothing in return.
3. I commit myself to, through a daily application of principled living, to stop myself whenever I become aware of emotions coming up from becoming the ‘I’m a good person’ character, from the starting point of: fear of survival, fear of punishment/future karmic projection, anxiety, expectation, guilt, as I now see/realize/understand to refuse to participate in these emotions strengthens my stand in the decision of who I am and what I do by NOT allowing the mind to manipulate me with energy, and thus using the tools of writing and self-forgiveness I assist and support myself with energy layer releases each time I remain here and say no to the mind.
4. I commit myself to show, that it is possible to stop all behavioral changes, as in changes in the physical human body, brought upon by the fear behind the ‘I’m a good person’ character (knots in my stomach, feel nauseous, my shoulders and neck tense, my jaw tightens and clenches, heaviness/tiredness in eyes and muscles), by being aware of and stopping the first thought and/or the inner conversation and/or the emotions that follow, as I now see/realize/understand these reactions only harm my human physical body and compromise me/make it impossible for me to effectively direct myself so I can really hear/listen to another human being in that moment and be of true assistance to them instead of lost in my own memories of my past. In that, I commit to face the FEAR of giving up my secret want/need/desires of self-interest and to stand up/take responsibility to act as the directive force of me/my life and thus as/for what it best for all life.
I commit myself to nothingness, free from thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, internal conversations, characters and personalities and backchat.