Day 146: Is Philanthropy Evil? Equal Health Care Should Be A Basic Human Right 2

SOLUTION:

The solution is a new system of governance, with the starting point of equality, an Equal Money System, which will include within it’s bill of rights-Human Rights Bill- equal health care for ALL human beings on earth.

Is philanthropy evil if there is a solution?  I would have to conclude yes it is, but we are all responsible. No one can point the finger, we must all stand up and create a new system/human rights that are best for all, and not just some.  We know inequality is evil and yet we ignore it. We allow the devil and the angel within us to tug and pull, we know there is a war going on both within us and without-just watch your nightly news.  Yet we continue to allow the polarities of rich/poor to exist, as we justify our societies by pointing out the ‘good work’ and ‘good nature’ of the few well meaning billionaires, “See, we aren’t so bad, he’s helping them , those poor poor people over there, I would too if I had that kind of money, but I’ll just let him do the ‘helping’” And we turn our backs on unspeakable suffering and death.

The problem of preventable death from disease in ‘third world’ nations must be tackled at its root-Inequality.  Therefore, the foundation of the system needs to change to one of EQUALITY. Within an Equal Money system IT WILL BE  A HUMAN RIGHT TO PROVIDE  THE SAME AVAILABLE  HEALTH CARE TO ALL, WHICH WOULD INCLUDE VACCINES, EQUIPMENT, CLEAN WATER so that human life/health is not dependent upon the ‘good nature’ of one philanthropic ka-billionaire!

I mean, is it not a little egotistical to be looking like a savior to these people and the world at large, ‘look at what I can do’…instead of ‘how can I use this money to improve the lives all human beings? How can this foundation be the beginning of changing the system-create a world wide health care system -for all to always have access to the best available information/technology/research/education/treatment. How can we ensure/guarantee this?’

There is only one way I know of, through the power of democracy, one man one vote.  So, the question to ask, if I was this multi-billionaire foundation, is ‘how can we use our money AS A FORCE of change for the betterment of human kind?’  Sure, continue with the preventative vaccine development and treatment, BUT at the same time dig out and remove forever the Root Causes of these problems.

Simply providing a vaccine, without considering the quality of life one is leaving behind is irresponsible.  I understand one organization cannot do everything and that the intentions are benevolent, I also understand that they are providing support and assistance to villages/communities in areas that would otherwise not receive it so it is ‘better than nothing’ at this point/time.  What is perplexing, however, is if this philanthropic organization is so brilliant (the head is considered a genius in his field)  then why do they not see short coming in this approach.  Sure, continue on the path of getting these vaccines out to the people who need them and the research to develop new vaccines for other diseases BUT at the same time why not put your money-ALOT of money-you have at your disposal into assuring  this never happens again, that ALL people, always, are assured the best possible healthcare/vaccines as a Basic Human Right.

With all the available resources that money provides, why does this foundation and it’s members not  consider an new economic approach as a foundation to change the world?

Thus , we propose a new Bill of Rights, under a new Economic system, EMC, Equal Money Capitalism.

From :   The Equal Life Foundation  Bill of Rights :

1. An Equal Economic Right that insures that all financial needs are accessible and available to ensure that the fundamental requirements of a healthy and fulfilling life can be realized and manifested.
2. An Equal Health Right that provides all essentials to building strong physical embodiments, insuring vitality and well-being along with clarity of intellect, emotional balance and physical stability….
5. An Equal Education Right that supports every individual in his or her pursuit of excellence and fulfillment of potential, supporting intellectual development and practical applications thereof to contribute their lives as relevant to a sustainable Earth that enhances Life for all participants.

Review the Full Document Here: https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation/posts/137442196442458

http://equalmoney.org/wiki/Health_Care

Healthcare will become that which supports life

Healthcare will become something that will actually support life and not merely the economic system or individual corporations, not the ego/pleasures of (a select few) men. Healthcare will support the physical body and the human-being as the measurable support that is required to be able to practically and effectively function within this physical-reality we all share. Isn’t that what healthcare is all about in the first place, to support the physical to so support the Human-Being within and as effective living in this world? Obviously, disease on earth will start to diminish and eventually start to disappear, because the attention given to the physical – both through ourselves in ‘who we are’ within as well as through external, actual real support and assistance as Health¬care – will be effective. Equal Healthcare, for All as One – with Equal Money and equal consideration of each individual and life as a whole.

REWARDS: 

*Researchers and scientists, as beings who are interested in investigating illnesses and finding cures, will be given all the time, space and opportunity to experiment and ‘look outside the box’

*Health Care will be available for all equally. No person will get more Health care than another

*Research will no longer be dependent on a set outcome based on profit

*the existence of diseases such as cancer, that occurs quite often in people, will be looked at from every angle as time and money will no longer be an issue

*Money will not be the motivation or set back of Health Care in an Equal Money System and therefore there will be no limitations to the possibilities for research and development.

*All research Equipment will be available as required

*all research will be done by the highest qualified people

• Visit the Group Capitalism vs. Equal Money group on Facebook.

• Read the Equal Money Wiki

• Read Economist’s Journey to Life

• For more about Self Education on Words, visit the Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process

• Read the 7 Year Journey To Life blogs

• 
• It is Time for a New World System. One Based on Prevention, instead of Reaction. One Based on Honoring the Right of Life, Equally for All. Join the Journey to Life, and Become Part of a Solution.” ~ Bernard PoolmanFor support and participation visit:http://forum.desteni.org
  http://equalmoney.org/forum/
  http://desteniIprocess.comCheck out the Desteni I Process Lite –
  a FREE course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.

Day 145: Is Philanthropy Evil? Equal Health Care Should Be A Basic Human Right

PROBLEM:  Is Philanthropy Evil?

Philanthropy, according to one definition is : the  altruistic concern for human welfare and advancement, usually manifested by donations of money, property, or work to needy persons, by endowment of institutions of learning and hospitals, and by generosity to other socially useful purposes.

I was watching 60 minutes Sunday evening, a U.S. television show offering investigative reports, which did a story on a well known American billionaire. He has amassed such an over-the-top fortune during his life, estimated 67 billion dollars, that he decided some years ago to dedicate his life to acts of charity/philanthropy.

http://www.tv.com/shows/60-minutes/watch/may-12-2013-2823278/

The show focused on his quest to eliminate various diseases in third world countries, through the development of vaccines, within the next 10-20 years as well as the invention of a thermos that will keep a vaccine “alive” so it can be delivered and administered to a population, in remote areas/where  typically it is difficult to reach a large number of people, who are in need.

So, the problem with this is twofold:

* 1.   It is not questioned that this need of philanthropy should exist in the first place. There was no guarantee that this ‘good and generous’ person would appear on the horizon, or that another one will when he is gone, so what then? Would this thermos have been invented had this man not made his personal fortune?  Isn’t that like playing God?  Would there be an agenda in place, as there is now, to conquer these diseases with new vaccines by 2020, without this man’s money?  Why don’t we all have the same dedication and quest?  Do we not care or is it lack of money, therefore resources, to reach the solutions that this man is able to?  Why do we leave it to luck, a spin of the wheel, that ‘the bottom 2 billion’ (as this person describes the population that most requires these vaccines) should suffer unnecessarily from disease and die?

The answer is both, it is our preoccupation with self-interest (for ourselves our families)  and survival AND our lack of money, that we do not address this issue but leave it up to this larger than life, super- sized, character/person and his charitable/non-profit organization.  Money moves things, gets that job done and he’s got it.

* 2.  All his efforts and money will not eradicate the problem because the root of the problem is not addressed within the philanthropic acts.

At the core of these issues is INEQUALITY. I do not know why this person and his foundation do not address the root/cause of these vast problems-millions dying each year of preventable diseases. I do know, in order to stop/solve this massive scale murder, I say murder because we are accepting and allowing it to occur and most of the deaths through disease in’ third world’ nations (we are all one nation, earth) are preventable.  Thus they are treating the symptom, even though one could consider a vaccine a prevention, a new strain or disease could emerge at any time in the future, once he has passed on,will his foundation continue with the same zest/conviction he has demonstrated or be as effective or exist at all ?  No guarantee, just another gamble. So he is not actually focusing on a prevention that will last, be effective whether he is here or not, it is but a temporary fix, another band-aid solution. This foundation is not empowering the population, in an absolute way, to guarantee a  solution. There is no equality in the solution.  The area is still wrought will problems of poverty, lack of clean water, remoteness to major centers and lack of transport, lack of education for the children and university opportunities for the youth, it goes on and on.

Is it evil to help a baby live but then leave it in poverty?

This foundation/philanthropist currently exists in a very small bubble, as he has the money to gather ‘the best’ scientists to work on his projects and invent what is required to deliver and administer effective vaccines. However, on his team are but a few of the talented individuals in the world, who have had the good fortune-again luck-to be born into a family who could afford to give them a university education, provide a healthy upbringing/home environment, etc. and so a number of things fell into place for  these few people to one day become a member of this philanthropic force.

IMAGINE how many of this ‘bottom 2 billion’ ,whom they are saying they are doing this philanthropic work on behalf , given the opportunity, are also capable-have the natural ability /talent to become scientists, invent the next great idea, contribute to the betterment of humanity, ‘discover’ a new cure/vaccine. Undoubtedly, many!  But they will never have the opportunity to find out.

Is it evil to present yourself, and your small army of saviors, to these villages with a magic thermos and vaccines but not provide them/all the village with the same opportunity for their children to ‘shine’ in a occupation area/to excel and invent/create/expand as a human being?

Presenting EMC  (Equal Money Capitalism) as the Solution in the next post. And answering the question, ‘Is Philanthropy Evil?’

The Equal Life Foundation
Bill of Rights:   https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation/posts/137442196442458

It is Time for a New World System. One Based on Prevention, instead of Reaction. One Based on Honoring the Right of Life, Equally for All.

Join the Journey to Life, and Become Part of a Solution.” ~ Bernard Poolman

For support and participation visit:

http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Check out the Desteni I Process Lite –
a FREE course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.

Day 74: It’s Your Fault! The Angry Friend 2

Please Note: I am continuing with the process of deconstructing my reaction of anger, at an old friend, in this post so, for context, I have included an excerpt from the previous post below:

Recently, I had a very strong reaction to a e-mail I received from a woman on an e-mail thread/list I am part of, for a mutual friend in the hospital. We have not spoken in many years, nine years I believe, so, it’s kind of awkward/uncomfortable  to be on an e-mail group list together. It is a group of women whom I have not had contact with, 4 of them, who made the decision to exclude me from their get togethers and all other contact as I did not apologize in person after I had been quite plastered at a xmas gathering (not the first time). I quit drinking for good shortly after that  (3 or 4 months) and have not had a drink in almost 9 years.

Unfortuatly, I was very sick, mentally and physically, and took the advice from my ‘sponsor’ to ‘leave it/ not contact them until you are more clear/strong‘  but after 6 months I felt I should say /do something, so she assisted me in writing a very brief note (which is what my sponsor again suggested)  saying I was sorry to each, all the same. I did not have the courage/humility to face them, I assumed they would judge me/interrogate me and I was not ‘up to it’ at that time. I was full of fear and basically fucked up for many reasons.

I always intended to apologize as well in person and discuss/answer any questions they had. However, time passed and it became less and less important to me. I thought it was rather nasty/spiteful of them (I heard through the grapevine they did not accept my apology) and I moved on.

My recent strong emotional/physical reaction has made me realize, I have alot of unresolved anger sitting in and as my physical body, in the very cells of my physical, around this issue and I will face this here in this blog.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to engage/participate in backchat around this issue as: be careful what you write, they might not like it, I wonder if this is ok for a reply, they don’t like me anyway so what difference does it make, I don’t like them, they are nasty women, I never ‘got’ all the supposed lovey dovey feelings they all claimed we shared, she is totally inappropriate for what she wrote in the e-mail, how off base of her, she is so superficial and lacks any form of empathy proven in what she just wrote in that e-mail, they will gossip about me again, B. (mutual friend in hospital) shouldn’t trust their ‘kindness’, they are hypocrites, maybe I should call and apologize, no- that’s ridiculous on many levels.

I commit myself to stop all such backchat as voices in the head about this issue and to bring myself out of my mind, as past experience/memories and back down to earth/ the physical as I now see/realize/understand  the backchat leads me down the rabbit hole, into the emotions and then physical bodily reaction which can harm, which is me allowing a memory of a past person have power/control over/of me. I also realize it is a waste of my time as it does not change the past, I do not know how much of it is actually true (as one tends to change the memories overtime to ‘come out looking better’) , it was my doing originally, as in I was the one who had the drinking problem/addiction, I have no right to judge these women in separation of myself and I gossiped about them in my mind and to my sponsor as much or more than they did, we all gossiped about each other over the years (I do not engage in this activity any longer), we did have many enjoyable times over many years,  it is my responsibility to give up a desire to ‘be liked’ and I can be a part of the e-mail list and be self-honest, in the moment and not worry about another’s reaction to what I write.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the following emotions around this issue: anger, resentment, anxiety, fear, superiority, inferiority, blame, judgement and dislike.

I commit myself, through writing, self-forgiveness and a daily self-corrective application, to stop myself when these reactions of emotions arise and return myself to reality as/in the physical with breath, as I now see/realize/understand when I participate in these emotions I cannot effectively direct myself here as I allow them to ‘take me away’ out of the ‘now/present’ timezone and into the past as memories and so they are in control and I become a system, the organic robot of consciousness telling me who I am/how I should be, it is all clouded by time so I am reacting to something -how we all were- 9 years ago and I do not really know them now, I have changed and perhaps so have they,  the emotions are energy reactions which can harm my physicality as the energy eats away at the flesh to turn it into further mind energy-strengthening my mind instead of me here, I wish no harm for any of them, but only an enjoyable and safe life, as we are all one and equal, as the flesh, here on the earth we all share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to submit myself to the following behavioral changes (changes in the human physical body): a wave of energy speeding up my from the pit of my stomach into my chest, increase in heart rate, constricting of my chest muscles and tightening of my throat muscles, all which seems similar to a flight or fight response-brought on by fear-to retaliate-to do something (I thought about removing myself from the e-mail list) to protect myself from these women so they ‘can’t hurt me anymore’.

I commit myself, to assist and support myself, to stay with breath awareness so as to stop a thought from ‘going this far’, to become a physical response in my body but if /when I do let a thought go to this extent I commit to remind myself that this ‘fight or flight’ response is self-deception, as I was under no threat what so ever, it was all in my mind and so I get back to breath, out of my own way and down to reality, to what is here, I calm down and remind myself to be grateful for all I have and carry on with my day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be subject to the following consequences with regards to my participation as ‘the angry friend’:  I set up possible further misunderstanding between these women, I create these women as characters in my mind, ‘the mean girls’, who have harmed me and whom I am right to blame and not take any responsibility for my past actions, I beLIEve my mind of pictures, emotions, imaginings, as if I have not changed-within my own private mind- what really occurred in the past to suit my need/desire to be ‘right’/better than/absolved, I participate in the mind consciousnesses systems of polarities good/bad/inferior/superior etc. and thus separate myself from these women in equality here, I strength my mind and not my standing in absolute stability here, as an example for others to follow for self-realization and I ruin any chance of introducing others to the concept of an equal money system, as the solution to the devastating problems here on earth.

I commit myself, to assist and support myself, to free myself and others from the many consequences that result from mind participation and specifically around this issue of me acting as the angry friend. Thus, when I see this character rearing it’s head, I stop, I breathe and bring myself back to the physical as I now see/realize/understand when I participate in the mind I create consequences, which creates a time loop, so I am not facing myself in self-honesty in that moment and will have to re-walk this point of fear and blame, when I could simply slow down and face what has come up within myself- in this moment- so as to put an end to myself as ‘the angry friend’ forever.

Please consider a FREE online Course

 Desteni I Process Lite – Learn Practical Life Skills Online

Show your vote for a Life where all have value at www.equalmoney.org

Also, Please check out the following Links:

Desteni

Desteni Wiki

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

Journey to Life Group

Eqafe Life Products – Self Help

Creation’s Journey to Life

Heaven’s Journey to LIfe

Earth’s Journey to Life

FREE Interviews and E-books:

* Life Review – My Life as a Peace Activist

* The Spirituality of the Snail

* Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 2

* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message

* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2

* Quantum Mind Self Awareness  Step 1 and Step 2

Day 73: It’s Your Fault ! ‘The Angry Friend’

Heal Yourself

Recently, I had a very strong reaction to a e-mail I received from a woman on an e-mail thread/list I am part of, for a mutual friend in the hospital. We have not spoken in many years, nine years I believe, so, it’s kind of awkward/uncomfortable  to be on an e-mail group list together. It is a group of women whom I have not had contact with, 4 of them, who made the decision to exclude me from their get togethers and all other contact as I did not apologize in person after I had been quite plastered at a xmas gathering (not the first time). I quit drinking for good shortly after that  (3 or 4 months) and have not had a drink in almost 9 years.

Unfortuantly, I was very sick, mentally and physically, and took the advice from my ‘sponsor’ to ‘leave it/ not contact them until you are more clear/strong‘  but after 6 months I felt I should say /do something, so she assisted me in writing a very brief note (which is what my sponsor again suggested)  saying I was sorry to each, all the same. I did not have the courage/humility to face them, I assumed they would judge me/interrogate me and I was not ‘up to it’ at that time. I was full of fear and basically fucked up for many reasons.

I always intended to apologize as well in person and discuss/answer any questions they had. However, time passed and it became less and less important to me. I thought it was rather nasty/spiteful of them (I heard through the grapevine they did not accept my apology) and I moved on.

My recent strong emotional/physical reaction has made me realize, I have alot of unresolved anger sitting in and as my physical body, in the very cells of my physical, around this issue and I will face this here in this blog.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become anger. In that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as anger, to not realize this person’s name appearing in my e-mail, set off a strong reaction, which grew, as I read the e-mail, but even just her name brought up an emotional reaction in my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I had become, in that moment, a character, on automatic pilot and no longer life here, but controlled by memories as past experience–I became ‘the angry friend’ and as the angry friend thought, ‘I dislike this woman very much. She is not trustworthy and her friendship is fake.’

I commit myself to assist and support myself, to be aware of each moment in breath and so  to ‘catch’ the first thought of, ‘I do not like/trust this woman’  as it arises and refuse to participate, so I stop and bring myself back to the physical with/as breath, as I now see/understand to follow the first thought leads me into consciousness and the subsequent, inevitable sequence of anger/bitterness that follows and is in itself a broken record of the past and useless and just creates further mind bullshit and blame.  I realize I no longer accept and allow myself to judge this woman, in separation of myself, through the mind, but see her as one and equal in the physical, as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I am, in these instances, being directed/controlled by fear, fear of rejection/of being disliked and fear of facing myself and the consequences I have created from my alcoholism and I am pushing this fear away from me, in denial, by projecting/blaming this woman for my reaction in dislike/indignation because she has ‘done me wrong and I am right to blame her’.

I myself commit to stop myself from participating/engaging in this emotion of fear of rejection from another in relation to any e-mail communication  with this woman, so when I see this occurring I stop, I breathe and bring myself back to the physical as I now see/realize/understand I am doing what I am accusing her of ; judging her, rejecting to her in my mind, blaming her, disliking her When in Reality I am only assuming/guessing and do not know, in fact, her reaction/thinking. I also realize I do not control others but am responsible for myself and what occurs within me. And so I point the finger back at myself and face myself in writing, self-forgiveness and a self-corrective application.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize when I have gone full blown into my mind of fantasy/imagination with pictures, dialogue, of memories or possible play outs of being further wronged, if these women were to gossip about me, or revenge type play outs where I come out appearing strong/the winner and they look nasty, spiteful and superficial when in reality I was the one who created the situation, by being drunk at a party, all those years ago.

I commit myself to, assist and support myself, to stop myself  from the mind energies of wanting/needing to ‘go there’ as in my mind to ‘get my revenge’ so I may ‘feel better’ about myself , my past and not just see it for what it is, our mutual friend is in need and we are all assisting and supporting her and so there is an overlap (as we are all on an e-mail list)/some communication between us for the first time in many years. I see/realize/understand it is useless and harmful to me and others,as it only creates more mind energy and ‘fuels the fires’ of dislike/anger, to engage in such imaginings inside my mind and take full responsibility for this to end. I also take responsibility for the situation, as it stands in it’s entirely, as it would not have occurred (our estrangement) if I had not been drinking heavily all those years ago, they probably felt they were ‘doing the right thing’ by not accepting a brief apology in a note and thought that I should meet with them in person to truly apologize (as I said above this was my intention-the note was to be an opener/beginning, if you will, not an end ) and so when/if this occurs, I stop, I breathe and bring myself out of my mind of memories/pictures/voices-the playing of a movie- and Back Down to Earth, I remind myself to focus on our friend who is ill  and carry on with my day.

Please consider a FREE online Course

 Desteni I Process Lite – Learn Practical Life Skills Online

Show your vote for a Life where all have value at www.equalmoney.org

Also, Please check out the following Links:

Desteni

Desteni Wiki

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

Journey to Life Group

Eqafe Life Products – Self Help

Creation’s Journey to Life

Heaven’s Journey to LIfe

Earth’s Journey to Life

FREE Interviews and E-books:

* Life Review – My Life as a Peace Activist

* The Spirituality of the Snail

* Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 2

* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message

* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2

* Quantum Mind Self Awareness  Step 1 and Step 2

Show your vote for a Life where all have value at www.equalmoney.org

Day 72: The Sad Worried Friend: Part 2

This post is a continuation of Day 71. Please read for context.

From the previous blog: A very good, lifelong friend of mine recently had brain surgery that went horribly wrong. She experienced massive bleeding in her brain and is paralyzed on her right side and she cannot speak. There is hope for partial recovery, the doctors simply told her husband, ‘we’ll have to wait and see how much she gets back’. She was a vibrant, energetic, busy woman enjoying her life before she went into the surgery, not to mention a truly kind, considerate human being, and it breaks my heart to see her lying in that hospital bed and it is very difficult to leave her there. I go visit her on Sundays so I have seen some progress over my three visits. Nonetheless, I have had many ‘negative’ reactions in the last week around this issue and even though I was thinking I don t need to write this experience out,  her picture/face keeps popping up in my mind and a heaviness in my body, so I will deconstruct this mind energy now.

Heal Yourself

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand –that I am having a conversation in my own mind, voices talking to me and this conversation just keeps coming up, of some of the following; oh god, she may have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, like my cousin, V. (her husband) could leave her, he’s decent probably not, gets harder as the years go on though, why did she do this surgery, she was whole before, now she is a burden, how will she cope, how boring for her…’

I commit myself to stop all such inner chatter the moment it starts so as to not engage but to say STOP and remind myself to breathe and remain here, present and focus on what is before me in the physical as I now see/realize/understand these are MY thoughts/projections/assumptions , all fear based, for her and NOT reality as her husband is an awesome person who loves her and they are a family, the same as before the surgery, I am assuming the worst and there has been some improvement in B.’s condition just over the last few days, my inner chatter does not change reality and just leads to emotions that can harm me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that I am letting my mind of/as emotion be in charge/control of moments, where I have got completely lost in fear (see in detail the previous blog, Day 71), and guilt in that I am able to walk out of that hospital room and carry on with life and she is not & guilt in that I did not ‘take it too seriously’ when she told me about the upcoming operation, worry about B.’s future as a possible ‘invalid’ and worry that she will not survive this ordeal, and anxiety/dislike of people from my past who I am in some contact with as I am on an e-mail list.

I commit myself, to assist and support myself, to no longer accept and allow these energies, as emotions of fear, guilt, worry, anxiety possess me in moments unaware but when this occurs to stand and make the statement NO, I stop the participation in these mind energies and focus on one breath at a time , in the physical, being here with and as life as I now see/realize /understand to participate takes me further into the mind and indeed strengthens the mind as energy, consuming the flesh and embedding itself as a memory deeper within the very cells of my physical body, B. is in a healing process that will take many months and I cannot judge her process/progress and it will be whatever it will be,  ‘invalid’ is a word which brings up several pictures/thoughts/emotions of helplessness/hopelessness and I commit to not use this word in connection to B., she is getting stronger each day, I took her seriously enough as the operation should have been only medium serious–most are successful with no complications but she had a massive brain hemorrhage after they closed her up and the surgeons had to go back in to stop the bleeding, I do not have to stay on the e-mail list as I can ask to be removed, some of the anxiety I have is based on the past, memories as experience, and is clouded with my assumptions/guessing, I can go visit one of these women and reference with her about an issue–so in the physical–instead of becoming paranoid in my mind, I do not need to ‘worry’ about others liking me as I now realize, this fear, people can pick up on and it pushes them away because they have the same fear (of being disliked)-just suppressed- and they do not want to be around it and so to realize we are all the same in equality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how my mind participation is harming/effecting my very physicality within the following behavioral changes: an uneasy feeling in my stomach, an energetic reaction in my solar plexus of anxiety, tension/tightness in my stomach, shoulders and upper back and neck/throat area, tension/ache in the back of my neck and lower head, a wave of energy up my upper spine like fear, shallow breathing.

I commit myself to stop myself, through writing, self-forgiveness and a daily self-corrective application, in allowing these bodily changes to happen but when/if they do I stop, I breathe and bring myself out of my mind of emotion and  state ‘NO I am not participating‘ and I continue breathing until I am free of these reactions as I now see/realize/understand I am not solving anything/changing anything by blindly not taking responsibility for my own body but by standing firm in my commitment to remain stable in breath I can move myself/direct effectively here, in the physical and out of the mind of energy reaction.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how my mind participation has consequences of ; harming my physicality, making it seems unpleasant/fearful going to visit B., not wanting to participate in the e-mail updates when I appreciate getting the updates from others, on B.’s progress, so isolating/hiding,  possibly misunderstanding some of the communication from others I have know in my past, who are on the e-mail list, focusing on my own self-pity from the past and not on B.’s health and healing.  As such, I now see/realize/understand it is my responsibility what goes on inside of me (in my mind and body) and I cannot allow myself to blame/project on anyone or anything (circumstance) else.

I commit myself, to assist and support myself, to trust myself here-not mind of energy putting me forward in time as in the future or back in time as in memories of the past, in fear and self-interest, and so to not create unnecessary consequences of not wanting to visit my friend or going into fear of being disliked, as I now see/realize/understand  I do enjoy my visits, it is not about me but supporting/assisting others, B. and her family, during this very difficult period and it does not matter if some people don’t like me, as I am just here in breath, one and equal to all in existence and I can better serve others if I stand as a stable example of this.

FREE Interviews and E-books:

* Life Review – My Life as a Peace Activist

* The Spirituality of the Snail

* Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 2

* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message

* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2

* Hell Spoof

* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty

* Quantum Mind Self Awareness  Step 1 and Step 2

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Mind Control, Amazingly cool documentaries to watch that explain in Detail how we got here:

Social Engineering in the 20th century

Psywar,

The Century of Self,

The Trap

The Power Principle

Day 54: Stressed out part 4: Why would I do this to Myself ?

As I review the last post, stressed out part 3, I can see how muddled/confused my thoughts are, seemingly random and jumping. This process, for me and many others, is like putting the puzzle pieces together, so I will slow myself down, continue with this theme of being overwhelmed by the little things one particular morning (see part 1), and in this post will specifically write about what I have learned thus far about my thinking processes–as to the WHY would I do this to myself/allow a barrage of thoughts to bombard me first thing in the morning–using self-forgiveness and then in the next post (day 55-part 5) write the commitment statements , as the solution to this fear based possession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe in my CYCLE OF INCOMPETENCY, being:

Because I am incompetent, from beLIEving the memories from childhood (see part 3), I fear there is not enough time to get the many little things done I am required to do in my day. Because there is not enough time I must rush and be part of the HUMAN RACE/RAT RACE all the while, my thoughts RACE. Because I am rushing/racing, listening to many thoughts one after another, from a starting point of fear, I am not patient/thorough/stable in taking on tasks, point by point, so I do not complete tasks but jump from one task to another fearing there is not enough time. Because I do not complete tasks thoroughly I AM INCOMPETENT.

In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think ‘I am not good enough’ ‘I am inferior’ from the starting point of childhood memories of my father saying women/girls are inferior to men. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the mind consciousness system design of  polarities, in this case comparison, in which I compare myself to others, who I judge as successful/competent/superior while I judge label myself as a failure/incompetent/inferior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I am average’ and therefore I will never excel at anything from a starting point of a memory, existing within and as me, of my father saying ‘Sandy always tries hard but never wins‘. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think because I am average I have to try harder just to be mediocre/barely noticed/just survive and I must do more than others just to get a small piece of the action/pleasure/the spoils of life, I must do more and do it fast because, for me, there is not as much time as for others who are more competent.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I am average looking so I must try harder to look ‘pretty’ so wear make-up, high heels, I am of average intelligence so I must study harder and longer and get extra help, I can cheat on tests because I can’t learn the material, I am average from a talent perspective so I must stay in the shadows and not make a fool of myself, all this from a starting point of self-interest, based on survival.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, because I am average, I am disposable/unimportant/can be overlooked. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that this self-pity is dishonesty because it is based on self-interest and fear of survival for me alone and allows me to hide/cower/be dependent upon others for money instead of standing and engaging in my world without using the mind, as fear from past memories, to direct me, so I can be useful/contribute/support/assist myself first and then others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always doubt/never be satisfied with the choices I make but let myself be influence/directed by my mind of inferior/not enough so my choices are not good enough, I need more, to switch/exchange one choice for another, therefore taking more time to constantly re-make my life/my home/my appearance.

Day 52: Solution: Stressed Out by The Little Things: part 2

See Day 51 for context: Commitment Statements

I commit myself to stop myself whenever the thought arise, ‘there are too many thoughts to get through’ as in process (DIP) (The 7 Year Journey To Life) and use the subsequent feeling, of overwhelmingness, as an excuse to postpone, as I now see/realize/understand to beLIEve this thought as true, as me, is false, as I am indeed only here, in the physical and can isolate this one thought, forgive it, and direct myself in the moment, with  breath, to carry out my task of writing, simply, no emotion required!

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, and a daily self-corrective application  be aware of the first thought, as ‘it’s too much’ so as to stop the emotion of fear arising, if I find I have gone into fear, I stop, I breathe, bring myself back down to earth, to reality and out of my mind of illusion, as I now see/realize/understand participating in this fear is what causes me to become stagnant and frozen, doomed to repeat the past of living from the starting point of reaction instead of becoming an effective living being here, who can  give, communicate, support and assist others so we may together put an end the abuse on earth by standing up for equality.

I commit myself to stop myself from participating in the lie, ‘there is not enough time’ as I now see/realize/understand it was always me, in following and then accepting this lie to exist within and as me, who believed it and engaged in wasting time by going into backchat about –list making–all the little chores that need to be done INSTEAD of moving/directing myself TO DO THEM without energy, but by engaging in the energy reactions of emotions and then the subsequent behavioral changes in my body of:  tension, aches and pains in the muscle tissue, anxiety and the tightening of my chest and stomach, shortness of breath, I would get tired very quickly and PROVE to myself , ‘ See, I am exhausted, I need to rest, I knew there wasn’t enough time’. It is no longer acceptable to me to follow such patterns, as I simply require to move, with breath, out of my mind and breathe through any thoughts that come up/arise AS THEY COME UP and everything gets done, with time to spare!

I commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to lye in bed when I first wake up/the alarm goes off but to immediately rise and meet my day with one breath, as I now see /realize/understand that the mind re-boots itself, as it is the computer of all my past, imbedded in my very flesh, and I do not require pictures/memories/thoughts/emotions/imaginings/fantasies using the construct of time (past, present, future) to be an effective human being, but I do require breath, in each here moment, to keep this unconditional gift of the human physical body, to effectively direct myself, as what is best for all life, in all ways.

I commit myself, through writing, self-forgiveness, and a daily self-corrective application to be aware, to be here, each morning when I am busy with the kids (children I have in my daycare) and not get lost in my mind, when I find I have gone past the first thought and am now into backchat/inner conversation, which is bringing up one picture after another in my head, and when I then find the tension/anxiety -emotion- is building- I commit TO STOP myself and breathe, as I now see/realize/understand I cannot effectively direct myself/my day when I am lost in my mind of pictures/images and not here, to be fully available to the children, what they are doing/saying, I cannot truly hear them/assist them/interact with them if I am busy in my mind and this is no longer acceptable to me, as it stems from self-interest and fear only.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, and a daily self-corrective application  stop all such inner self-talk as backchat during my day, especially first thing in the morning when the children arrive and my husband is around, as I now see/realize/understand it does not change anything but in fact harms my physicality by creating and then using energy, within the emotions it creates, to consume the flesh. In that, I now understand the mind is indeed a consumption machine, round and round it goes, constantly and continuously -as within so without- just as I have become a consumer in society/within the world systems, unaware of the harm I am doing by buying endless shit I do not need but have become dependent upon/addicted to, blissfully unaware of the plastic garbage islands/waste in our oceans, that is amassing daily and destroying the plant and animal kingdoms, in my destructive path. From the greater to the small, it starts here, with me standing absolute, with a still mind, moving within my day, being here for my job, the children in my daycare, and fulfilling my other daily responsibilities in stability, with no mind movement. As this is a process, I remind myself to be patient and kind to myself and carry on with the task at hand.

I commit myself, whenever I find I have gone into emotions of guilt, fear, anxiety, blame, judgement of myself and others, resulting from participating in backchat/self-talk throughout my day, to stop and breathe, to stabilize myself as I bring myself out of my mind and feel my feet firmly planted on the ground-physical, as I now see/realize/understand how engaging in these emotions/feelings takes me away from the reality of what is here in my life and into some illusionary drama that does not exist and makes it impossible for me to effectively direct myself, as a responsible daycare provider, wife, mother, daughter and human being.  I now see that such behavior is not life but a useless, programmed, robot destined to only repeat the past as patterns of postponement, self-interest, confusion, failure and so unable to contribute anything of value to my world, but to crawl in fear toward old age and this is no longer acceptable to me.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, and a daily self-corrective application, stop myself when I find I am experiencing physical bodily changes brought on from the emotions/feelings I have allowed unaware, by saying ‘No, not participating‘ and using breath to stabilize myself, out of the mind of illusion and self-interest, back down to earth and then to breathe, in absolute stability, until the aches and pains disappear, my muscles relax, my throat relaxes, the nauseous feeling goes away, as I now see/realize/understand it was my participation in the whole process of thought-backchat-fear-emotions that created the discomfort in the first place and this is not necessary or productive, in any way, but was brought upon by my being unaware of my reality/lost in my mind. As well, these bodily reactions will result in the consumption/decay of the flesh and this is no longer acceptable to me.

Day 51: Stressed Out Crazy Woman: The Little Things part 1

For the past 5 weeks I have been working 2 jobs: a daycare in my home and foreign students boarding with us and I have been experiencing increasing  anxiety, a flood of thoughts and reactions concerning the little things that need to be done, in my day. In the next number of posts, I will tackle this personality, the totally stressed out, crazy, middle aged woman. As I hesitate now, thinking, it seems too much, impossible to remember all the thoughts, I realize one begins this process by….well, beginning!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think ‘It is too much, I cannot remember all the thoughts I have had over the last 5 weeks about this overwhelming feeling, there is so much more I need to cover, I’ll never get through it.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear, at following the first thought, as in ‘its too much’ and opening the door to subsequent thoughts telling me why it is too much (whatever ‘it’ is, in this case to cover all the thoughts I had about handling the 2 jobs during a day), beLIEving these thoughts to be me and accepting this fear as me, then letting the fear build into anxiety, in my body, of tightening of my throat/chest/pit of my stomach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think,  ‘there is not enough time’ as in not enough time to get all the little things/jobs done in my day and still have time for process (Desteni I Process) and to ‘be a wife’ (another character for another post).

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to breathe and then immediately rise from bed RIGHT AWAY when I wake up/the alarm goes off,  but instead to lie in bed and allow thoughts to start, re-booting my mind consciousness systems so I am starting my day, once again, as an organic robot of the mind, with the continual/constant running of the program of thoughts, instead of a self-directive being, here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let a number of images comes up in my mind, one after another, leading to feeling overwhelmed: dishes, laundry, shopping, running out of food for the ELS (English language Students), the grocery stores I go to, my dog, pictures of the children I have in my daycare, pictures of the ELS staying with us, the doctor’s office, the drive test center, the mammogram clinic, driving with my son, my husband at his office.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/engage/participate in the following thought pattern as backchat/inner conversation:

Shit A. is going to be here in a few minutes, I hope I can get breakfast out for the ELS before they come down, why is T. coming down so early now? It’s like she’s coming down earlier and earlier, why doesn’t she come down at the agreed upon time? She’s just in the fucking way. I havn’t even washed their dishes from yesterday, gotta pack their lunches, shit we’re out of ham, I have to buy more jam and eggs for tomorrow , oh yeah and milk, I wish the kids (daycare children) wouldn’t use the bloody milk,  I don’t want to talk to anyone this morning, I just want my coffee, I wish they would just fucking leave, I can’t wait until they leave, 7 days to go, thank god, I havn’t called my Mom for a week, I have to/should call her, we’re almost out of tp, it’s garbage day, I forgot, now I’m going into a sweat (menopause symptom) fuck when is this going to end, nothing works, I can’t sleep, I have to nap this afternoon and then I don’t have enough time for process (DIP: Desteni I Process) and participation,  Oh shit, A. let the bloody cat in, I’ve told them not to, the students don’t like the cat on the counter,  too much, I hate this, I can’t wait till they leave, oh god , what a bitch I’m being, they are both awesome young women, why am I doing this. Oh yeah, the dentist should have told me it would be an extra $1600 (over and above what my insurance covered) to get this bridge done, that just pisses me off, she has no idea what I have had to go through to pay this bill. Shit, I forgot P. (my son) wants to go for a driving lesson/practice, he still hasn’t got the parking permit for that car his Dad lent him, I forgot gotta pay that parking ticket.Well, there goes my day, I’ll have to pick up the kids from school after that. I wish we could just move, if we move I don’t have to work/earn nearly as much income. Our mortgage is waaay to high. I wish R. (my husband) would agree to move out of the city and we could have no mortgage for god sake! I’m going to search online again and show him houses we can afford. Fuck I wish we could just move. Who needs this fucking stress, bills, bills, bills, we are forever behind. My notes-to do list-is a mess, I have to re-write it, why is it always a mess, why do I write it on such small paper, why do I always have 2?A. (one of the daycare children) is such a pain in the ass, so difficult, it’s my fault I let her manipulate me, I’m not strong/consistent enough for her. And they come so bloody early, I hate that 7am facing her first thing in my day, she’s mean and self-centered, without her it would be so much easier, I’ll tell her mom just till the new year and I’m done, its $700/month so I’ll get a tenant NOT ELS that I have to cook for and include in the family/entertain/act as ‘house mother’ for, just a tenant/student going to a local college, fuck I’m hot and now I’m cold, I don’t know if I’m hot or cold, R. is so cheap he always turns down the heat, fuck, when is this going to stop I can’t stand it (the menopause sweats). A is getting a little better this year, I don’t want to hurt A or her mom’s feelings and make her have to find other daycare, maybe I can stand it. At least I can enjoy a smoke, I shouldn’t smoke, I shouldn’t have lied to the doctor and said I did not smoke, he may not have put me on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) or as strong, if I said I smoked, I don’t smoke much.  Why does A’s mom keep asking me to babysit on a weekend night, I told her I’m not doing that anymore, It’s hard to say no to her, its too much, you look after your own kid, I feel like a bloody slave, she’s like 5 kids in one, its exhausting, you do it and I’ll go out! that so mean of me, she’s a single mom, like I was, its hard, I love them both, I just don’t want to look after her anymore. She ‘s a difficult kid, I’m not good at it, I’m so done…..’

In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have these thoughts bring on the reactions of the following emotions and feelings: FEAR: of death/suffering/not enough sleep/of not enough time/of loss/rejection/not enough money/poverty/criticism and the emotions of : anxiety, regret, guilt,  inferiority/less than/not good enough, blame, impatience, judgement of others, self-judgement .

In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, subsequently, experience the following behavioral changes in my physical human body:  a tightening in my throat, a tightening in my chest and stomach–all like severe anxiety, difficulty breathing, increase in heart rate (sometimes), shortness of breath, pain from tension in my shoulders and upper back.

Self-Commitment Statements to follow in post:  Day 52

Day 47: Alcoholism and how it Related to Doubting Myself Part 7

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a picture in my mind of a relative hugging me/consoling me after she heard I got horribly drunk at my parents 50th wedding anniversary party that she could not attend, bringing up the thought, ‘R. is very sweet to stand up for me. I am very embarrassed. I guess everyone knows what happened.’  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a picture in my mind of another another relative, who is an alcoholic, pouring hard liquor down his throat in the forest by the cottage  and passing out and think, ‘Poor M. he is a severe alcoholic and cannot drink. He’s so miserable and fucked up. He should go to AA (alcoholics anonymous) and learn how to live sober’, in total denial of my own alcoholism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a picture in my mind of being in W’s kitchen, as she offered to watch my kids when I went to a AA meeting, her house being large and incredibly opulent and thinking, ‘Her husband is so successful and decent and handsome. She never has to worry about money. I wonder how that feels? I wish I could feel that. I am such a pathetic loser. I married the wrong man, she was smart, she married the ‘right’ man. Oh god, get this over with. I can’t wait to get home and drink. Stupid bitch, she thinks it so simple with her ‘help’, it’s just one meeting, tomorrow who is going to watch the kids? No one and I will drink, oh fuck what a loser. Look at all she has, it is so beautiful and comfortable here, my kids love it here. Just get through this and home soon and drink, thank god… soon.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by regret, shame, guilt, self-hate, humiliation, fear, jealousy, confusion, self-pity bring up the thought, ‘What does she think, one meeting is going to change anything. I know it won’t. Just go and come back and get your kids and get them out of her clutches of ‘we have so much, abundance and you don’t’ and get home so you can drink.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I’m never going to get through this, it’s too much, it’s not going to change anything. I should be making money.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself having no regard for my physical health. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself and instead put my ‘faith’ in my ‘higher power’=my mind and follow it’s ‘guidance‘.    I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my trust and therefore my actions outside of myself in others and the idea of a ‘higher power’ in total separation of myself and my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to minimize my alcoholism and instead live/exists in total self-pity and self-victimization, not taking responsibility and empowering myself with my own ability to change my life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself in thinking, “Life should not be something you just ‘get through’” and doubted sticking to my guns (my decision to not re-enter the work force because I did not believe in the world money/business systems) but instead ‘felt’ defeated by the world and wondered if everyone else was ‘right’ and I should just get a regular job.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate the responsibility for the health of my human physical body to… what?  Chance, luck, doctors, miracles, money, god, spirits, prayer, hope.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt what I have questioned (way back in my mind, I didn’t think I had the right to question) throughout my life; why shouldn’t I be in complete control of my physical human body, why don’t I know what’s going on with my body, who designed this, it sucks, it should be changed so humans are not such prisoners in their bodies, it should be a delight to exist, not so precarious and frightening, every time you walk out the door something can kill you. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself in my right to ask these questions in fearing the creator would think I was ungrateful and therefore undeserving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself in thinking, ‘No wonder I drank, life sucked, I’d rather be drunk than have to submit to the world systems. Thank god for Desteni.‘

Day 46: How Do I Face What I Have Done? Solution: Commitment Statements part 6

Now that one has got a new starting point/foundation as one has applied self-forgiveness, how do you practically walk/apply this, day to day?  Through the writing and living of commitment statements:

I commit myself to stop myself from engaging in the first thought, as a memory of my years of drinking alcoholically, specifically to prominent memories in which deep sorrow and regret are attached, when I realized something was seriously wrong with me and used alcohol to help medicate myself, as I now see realize and understand, I DID get through it and it has turned into a good thing as I now have an understanding of myself as one and equal to all that exist and I no longer live in separation from the rest of life here, so I bring myself out of my mind of thought and emotion and commit to standing , here in solidity, stable with my breath, no longer a victim of alcohol or my mind.

I commit myself to stop myself, through self-forgiveness, writing and a daily self-corrective application whenever I have a memory arise within me of when L. would ask what I was drinking, or why I smelt funny, and breathe and not follow these memories further but to stand and gain self-awareness back here in the physical -to what is real and current before me- as I now see /realize/understand it is not by engaging in memories and then emotions and behaviors that things are righted, as I only go into an energetic reaction of guilt that harms me, but it is by directing myself here, and speaking self-honestly in the moment to my daughter that is effective. I realize I have spoken to her several times during my sobriety and made amends and more importantly,  make a daily living amends by being sober and available anytime to/for her.

I commit myself to stop myself, through self-forgiveness, writing and a daily self-corrective application whenever I allow myself to get to the point of playing out a scene/memory of when I used to hang out at bars and have superficial encounters with men, be elated while getting ready to go out, treat the men I met in bars as ‘insignificant’ without the starting point of one and equal,  as I now see/realize/understand to continue/follow these memories further will only lead me into the emotions of guilt/blame/regret which is a waste of time/does not change the past is a total replay of a replay of a replay …… as such is useless, as this only uses energy from the emotions to transform substance/physicality into further mind energy which only serves to harm the physical body as it gets slowly eaten away. I realize I was not capable at the time to treat these men with the respect they deserve as life, one and equal to me, and I do not allow myself to participate in such behavior now.

I commit myself to stop, breathe and focus back on physical reality each time I have a memory arise about when I used to drink and then call my parents or others. I commit myself to not engage participate in the emotions that subsequently arise of guilt and shame as I now see/realize/understand I was not capable at the time to change myself but I am now living a daily amends of being sober and participating with Desteni, to not only be a responsible human being/daughter but to bring about a world that is best for all in equality and standing as a living example of that.

I commit myself to, through a daily application of writing, self-forgiveness and  self-corrective application, to stop myself by being aware of thoughts/feelings/emotions that arise within and as me of regret/humiliation of the past when a memory/thought /picture arises,  in my mind, of the time when a relative bought gifts for my children at christmas and I had none for her children.  I breathe and say ‘NO’ not participating and bring myself back to the physical, I touch my physical body and hear/focus on the sounds surrounding me within my day, as I now see/realize/understand to fall back into my mind means I cannot effectively direct myself within this here moment, I refuse to be an organic robot existing only as the past/starting point of the past, and I carry on with the task at hand.  Furthermore, I see/realize/understand christmas is bullshit/meaningless and, until we create a world that is best for all in equality, I do not participate in christmas (I will in small way so as to not upset/be a rebel in my family, whom I respect) and I know this person and I are one and equal, in fact, and money does not define us, as money will one day disappear and there will be nothing left but the being to face herself (both me and her-not suggesting I have not been guilty of consumerism, I have).