The Desteni of Living: My Declaration of Principle

Here I share my ‘Desteni of Living’ – my commitment too apply the following principles and to stand as a living example to others. In coming blog posts and videos I will be walking each individual Principle and how I am already Living the Example of each Principle and/or How I Walk a Practical Process of Self-Correction and Responsibility to Become the Living Example of each Principle.

Principal #2. Living by the principle of What is Best for All – guiding me in Thought, Word and Deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all.

I am becoming more aware of my words when I am speaking to others, as in considering them more and realizing what I say/the words I speak can have an effect on another and so it is my responsibility to slow down and consider them in each moment.

I am more aware of: ‘old tapes’ playing in my mind like thought patterns when they first come up, how I slip into imagination with memories and/or imagined play outs of a situation, how I see something in the physical and connect something from my past-a picture popping up in my mind and then going into thinking. Thus, I am now being more persistent/diligent (it is not easy) in stopping the engagement in my mind and instead asking myself, ‘how can i deal with this in the physical, considering all involved?’ For example, I used to go into judgements about my partner and my step-daughter about tidiness and cooking for them, today I stopped this and realized all I require to do is know what to cook and purchase it and prepare it and that is it, simple. I also remind myself that picking up a few things/putting things away for a few days while my step-daughter is here is not a burden but my privilege. There are simple solutions to make the little bit of extra ‘housework’ efficient, for example tomorrow night we will go out to a restaurant (I realize we are fortunate we can afford this), another evening I will cook a frozen pizza, so each night is not cooking a large meal with lots of clean up.

I am stopping my reactions, seeing them in real time more and more and not engaging. An example of this just occurred in a phone conversation with someone who I have had a history of reacting to quite a bit, there was a pattern that unfolded where she did not understand me and I would usually react in alot of energy of defensiveness, frustration, anger, impatience, self-doubt, and then (after I hung up the phone) blame, guilt, regret but I did not allow it to play out. As soon as I saw the point where we would start arguing and creating more misunderstandings I was able to top and breathe and remained silent/still for a moment and then very carefully spoke, and clarified the situation. At that moment, the built up tension dissipated and we could continue on with our conversation in a more relaxed and trusting way with each other.

I am noticing more and more how ‘needing to be liked’ has controlled/directed my thoughts/words and deeds throughout my life. The character within me is of ‘not good enough’ and inferior. Thus, I am seeing this come up now in awareness-sooner- and have started to ask myself ‘why do you need them to like you? what is the self-honest/best for all answer/comment/communication in this circumstance? do you really care if they like you? why are you afraid of making a mistake? what do you think this says about you-if you make a mistake? do you know how to slow down and respond calmly, if you do make a mistake? do you know how to support yourself when you feel threatened/attacked and simply communicate with another person?’ AND I answer myself/or introspect to determine the answers. Thus, I am able to start to let this go. I realize it is not about someone liking or not liking me and NO I actually do not ‘care’ or ‘not care’ it just is what it is, we are not going to be close to all people/feel comfortable with all people and that is ok/cool.

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7 Year Process Blogs

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Please refer to: The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

I will write what I am aware of living now and re-visit this principle in future moments.

1. Realising and living my utmost potential

* My Behavior Toward/With Another: It is no longer acceptable to me to hang onto blame and judgement of myself and/or another. After an encounter/conversation with another (only seldom, at this point, am I able to change in the moment) I am able to see/realize/understand rather quickly my responsibility within it. It is much easier for me to be aware of- and then let go of- nasty backchat/judgements and instead go into wanting to understand another and/or a consideration of the other person, like ‘well, I really don’t know them or all they have experienced in their life so how can I judge?’, I can now quickly remind myself ‘they don’t know me so I should not take it personally’ and I am able to stabilize or if they do know me I don’t take it personally anyway because they are simply responding according to their own pre-programing/thinking patterns based on their past, just as I had done my whole life, so again, I have no right to judge/blame.

I can now step back and consider, ‘ok, if you feel guilty Sandy, what is going on within you?’ and I look at the situation – how it physically in reality occurred and I find often I have taken some short cut/broke a rule and set myself up to be a victim. I have looked at how I have done this throughout my life and I require to slow down, remind myself to breathe and practice patience and consideration of others. I am able to apply quick self-forgiveness for any nasty backchat/revenge fantasy (where I imagine/ re-play the scene in my mind, saying the ‘perfect’ thing back to spite them, especially if I think they ‘hurt my feelings’ lol) and instead ask myself ‘how could I have turned this around to assist and support that person?’ I am also able to quickly remind myself this is not who I want to be/allow myself to be anymore (reacting/gossiping/saying spiteful things in my own secret mind about another) and that it is my responsibility to speak up self-honestly in a moment and then support and assist another as equals, not see another as the enemy/bully and me the victim.

* Worrying About My Children: I have been able to let go of the incessant worrying about my children’s safety and health. Note: there is still some concern that comes up but it is more realistic and looking at situations then out of control worry. Also note, stopping the worrying does not mean that I love them/care about them any less! This not to perfection yet but I am able to stop when I see thoughts coming up and not go into a full blown mind possession about it. I remind myself to be patient (waiting for test result for my daughter) and that being stable is what will support my daughter and not weakened/confused/fearful because of participating in emotional energy reactions. When I see myself starting to think fearful thoughts about my son driving/coming home very late from work, I am now able to stop before it goes any further. I remind myself: how useless worry really is/it does not change anything/the facts of a situation, I am a physical being and to do the next physical thing before me, as in move/direct myself & I also remind myself I have ‘been there done that’ meaning I have lived in my own mind for 50 years now and I can see how /where it leads BUT I have not tried to live as a completely physical being (I do see how changing just a little has benefited within growing relationships, music, my health and more).

I was also very worried about my own health, test results around a certain issue and, when I went for a 6 month check yesterday, one of the areas of concern in my breast had completely disappeared! I had not allowed myself to indulge in imaginations/thoughts about it before hand/stopped them almost immediately when they came up, and this had the effect of me being more calm during the testing, not sure if that made a difference or not but it was much better for me as I did not get myself all upset before or during the appointment.

* Personal Health and Well Being: Firstly with regards to night sweats/hot flashes, it is no longer acceptable to me to live solely in reaction (something happens and then I react to it ) but rather as an active creator/an aware participant with and as life , who is self-responsible within directing their own mind in each moment. Having said that, I did transcend the sweating for awhile (about a week! it was very mild, easy to sleep!) but as I slowly let up and went more and more into my mind of reactions/energy, the sweats returned with a vengeance . So now I am in the process of using breath in awareness in each moment (again more and more) and I can see that they are becoming ‘lighter’/less severe, but not yet back to the point of being mild.

I am more aware of my reactions in the moment as they come up, reactions being: emotions (negative ie. anger/sadnesss) & feelings (positive ie. excitement/happiness). Thus, I am able stop participation in them more and more quickly. Often, when I feel any movement in my solar plexes, I say out loud or to myself ‘I am with you body’ and I take a deep breath in and slowly exhale, I remind myself where I am and what I am doing and to focus on physical reality. I find by not participating in these energies I have less anxiety/stomach problems and am not as tired throughout the day or evenings!

* Music: I am no longer allowing myself to be the ‘lesser version’ of me, anything less than free to express in the moment, who I am here as in who I can become boundlessly , no longer allowing myself to limit me within songwriting. How am I doing this?

I am writing melodies in the moment, in self-honesty, meaning not coming from the starting point of the past, with memories and thoughts. When I see myself going into the past I stop and do not continue until I am clear. I am not allowing myself to go into future moments (less and less) within excitement when I create a melody I enjoy, so stopping participation in fantasy/imagination of future projection of praise or ‘success’. When I see it happening I stop and breathe and make sure I am accessing what is real, which is simply me sitting at the piano. I am stopping comparisons and thus competition in my mind, more and more, where I make myself inferior to another artist. When I see myself going into these emotional energies, I immediately stop and get back to reality and the creation process. As well, I am not allowing myself to indulge in self-doubt nearly as much, by judging a song as ‘bad’, I less and less let a song possess me (going round and round in my head)/can just leave it OR if I find I want to re-work a melody, I don’t stress about it but do it in the moment and it is a joyful experience, I find it comes out simply, no struggle.

I am not using my tape recorder when I wake up to record a song idea of melody and lyrics, as I used to do often, which only confused me as I would start too many songs and not complete them. I am practicing playing the keyboard in self-honesty, meaning using my whole body physically and not having thoughts: self-judgements, criticisms, opinions running around in my mind and simply feeling the music/rhythm which is proving to be much more enjoyable and making me a more competent musician (still long way to go as a musician). I am singing in self-honesty, meaning-like with the keyboard-using my whole body and breath in awareness without thoughts running away in the background/lots of backchat going on in my mind. This is again more enjoyable and I find my voice softer and more clear and capable/seems ‘easier’ to sing!

Most importantly, I am able to realise and live my utmost potential by being aware of all of these points in my daily life and within each breath, in more and more consistency.

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support

DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection

Creations Journey To Life

7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life

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In this journey the patterns that constitute what I have accepted as My Reality will be deconstructed through self forgiveness and re-constructed through a commitment of correction to that which is best for all life.

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