Day 19: Commitments to Stopping the Mind Possession of Spirituality 2

I commit myself , through writing, self-forgiveness and walking a breath by breath, self-corrective application, to stopping myself whenever I am tempted by my mind to go into egotistical notions,  in relation to  making money from music or real estate, and to think, in comparison,  my child care business is loserville, boring, tedious and unimportant and remind myself to be grateful for the children I look after, as they are allowing me to participate in taking the Desteni I Process Course and my daily participation with Desteni, and that it is guaranteed income, which is real and practical in reality and not just an idea/dream. In that, I commit to not needing to borrow money from relatives as I have stabilized my income, by remaining here in the physical, and not looking to a ‘higher power’ for advice on how to ‘succeed’.

In that , I commit to not use the word ‘success/succeed’ in my vocabulary any longer and to eliminate it from my physical and mind as memory, as in success/failure but to be grateful for stability and having all I need, as I now see/realize I can re-define success as life/living within ‘best for all’ principals, in all ways.  As I realize this is a process that will take several years, I commit to walk this process until the notion of success and failure is non-existent within and as me.

I commit myself to remind myself that I do not need to impress my husband or anyone else, as to how much money I earn and thereby no longer accept and allow myself to participate in the mind consciousness system’s design of polarities of winner/loser, success/failure, exciting/boring, better than/less than, rich/poor, as I now see/realize/understand I was just being directed by my own mind/ego, by striving to achieve some wealth/attention/praise from others and trying to please others/a higher power.  In that, I take a step back from the world systems of money and consumerism and keep my life simple and not focused on wants/needs/desires as in purchasing more things; clothes/cottage/jewelery/hair styles etc. because it would validate I am alive = more of me, as in my ‘story’ of this life and define who I am. I remind myself I am not a picture and I remind myself I can express myself freely with writing a song for enjoyment, go for a walk, engage with others and I have all I need and do not require more clothes to ‘feel good’ but focus on spreading the message of equality for all, so all may have what they need.

I commit myself, through writing, self-forgiveness and walking a self-corrective application, to stop myself whenever I think something is a divine ‘sign’ put there just for me and it is important for me to follow, so I know what decision to make about a certain issue I am facing,  as I now see/realize/understand ‘signs’ from a supposed higher/spiritual force are not real but in my own mind, as I would twist and manipulate what I saw/heard/read to suit some romantic notion .

In that, I realize that following these signs often resulted in getting me into much trouble, that I somehow justified, and never benefited my or my children’s lives in a practical, sustainable way. I stop and I breathe, and bring myself out of my mind of thoughts and back down to earth, reality, and carry on with my day.

I commit myself to stop myself from being bullied by my mind, as I gave it the power to frighten me by believing it was a spiritual force greater than I, for one example as in being given bits of music and lyrics to write a song  and then if I do not write it,  having a nightmare about poverty or failure and abandonment, as I now see/realize/understand it was just my mind –how I had programmed it !  Instead I breathe and say ‘Stop, I am not participating. I am not accepting and allowing myself to go into reactions of fear, anxiety, stress, worry. I am supporting myself, here, out of my mind until this is done and these thoughts are no longer existent within and as me’ and if I am in bed and it is not time to get up, I do not participate in thoughts/emotions but breathe until I fall back to sleep. I allow myself to learn how to write music ‘here’ in the moment with breath and no longer ‘listening’ to my mind.

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