Day 21: Commitment Statements: Experiencing ‘Passages of Time’

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and walking a daily self-corrective application (directing myself here, out of the mind) no longer accept and allow myself to exist as menopause, as I now see/realize/understand it is my responsibility, as life here, to stop and breathe each time a thought/reaction/emotion arises within me about sweating/menopause, and bring myself/awareness out of my mind and  back to the physical and carry on with my day.

I commit myself to stop all participation in relating/connecting myself to this character and her ego, like I am in a story and must carry stored memories of ‘passages of time‘ as in physical signs of aging of/as my body and consider and engage in these memories/thoughts/emotions as they arise throughout my day, when I look in the mirror or at my body, as I now see/realize/understand I am not a helpless prisoner in a human form but one and equal with my very physicality, and that ‘time’ and my body are not the enemy but I can remain here/aware of reality in each moment (no time) as/with breath, as life in equality with all of existence, no longer in separation and fear as I am out of the mind of illusion.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and walking a daily self-corrective application  no longer accept and allow myself to judge others as in what/how they are experiencing their physicality as exaggerated/annoying/wrong/weak and project that I will never be like them, as I now see/realize/understand that the suffering is immense, and I did not/have not experienced several of the symptoms, just the sweating and lack of sleep. In that I commit myself to supporting and assisting  other women/men that are willing to walk the DIP (Desteni I Process) Course, as I now see/realize/understand it is unnecessary to endure this suffering when the solution is here as Desteni.

I commit myself to stop and breathe each time I think/relate to linear moments of breath as time passing, as equal to me being a limited being that has a story line, so much time here in my physical body as Sandy’s life which has a birth date and death date/expiry date/graven image within and as me, as I now see/realize/understand I am not this limited character but life here, as real and not trapped by continuous/constant streams of thought/feeling/emotion/energy/memory experiences.

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing the ‘sins of the father’ to be inherited/passed down from my parents and their parents and so on, as in the inevitability of aging and with women, the experience of menopause, as I now see/understand/realize this is a program/design of polarites, placed in each human being through ones participation in the mind consciousness system, through which a dedicated/disciplined approach of examination and application can be changed/deleted over a minimum 7 year period using the DIP and Journey to Life blogging.

I commit to stop myself whenever I connect numbers, as in age, to an emotion of fear/helplessness/hopelessness/victim/uselessness/feeling compromised as in seeing passages of time in the numbers 35/40/45/50 etc as milestones in my life, relating it to a character in a story, who has now entered another phase of life, as I now see/understand they are just numbers assigned to life and not life itself, as in here awareness with breath in equality. I bring myself out of my mind and back down to earth, to what is real and focus on the task at hand.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to connect numbers/age, of myself or others, to certain roles/behaviors/things they should do or own/where they should be on their ‘life path’ to create a ‘successful’ story that we consider a ‘life worth living’, like they are just this number/cog in the wheel/consumer in the world’s money machine/system/slave of the elite and are required to participate by purchases of houses, having children, having a job/career as I now see/realize/understand that is not life but just existing as memories replayed over and over again and not living as an actual free expression, self-expansion, being all and the best you can be, but being a slave to the world’s money system where only but a few get to live their dreams, create art, travel, enjoy luxuries without the constant financial stresses most face daily.

In that I commit to, through writing, self-forgiveness and walking a daily self-corrective application, no longer accept and allow myself to connect 35 years old to; fear of time passing, less time to ‘fix’ my life, adult, almost 40 which is getting ‘old’, 40 to; too late to live my dream of a happy and secure home/family, still young enough to drink away my days/pass the time as I did not like/want to face my reality and change it, I still have my songwriter fantasy to place my hopes and dreams, 45 years old to ; close to 50 and fear that that is old, more grey hair and wrinkles on my face, having a nice boyfriend, being liked in AA, my higher power and  kids still love me, I still look quite young, and 50 to ; changes in my physicality: flabby skin on my forearms (and to connect this to a picture in my mind of my mothers forearms), sagging skin on my thighs and knees (and to connect this to a picture in my mind of my mother’s thighs and knees), little red dots on my stomach and chest, more grey hair on my head, more hair growing on my face and chin, my teeth yellowing, gaining weight and relating to other middle aged women who are no longer slim but ‘filled out’ in their backs/stomachs/hips/butt/thighs and thinking that this is ‘normal’.

I commit myself to stop myself and breathe whenever I think 50 years old means a woman no longer has a regular period (no longer producing certain needed bodily hormones) and is unable to produce children, therefore she has no value as life and it is ok that her physicality depletes/diminishes/dries up and her life is ‘on the way out’, as I now see/realize understand, I am just here, in each aware moment, which opens the doors to actual real living, expression and creation, out of the mind of illusion and self-interest, one and equal with the world and existence.

I commit myself to not go into reaction of fear/anxiety/stress/worry when I am told certain solutions/assistance for some of the symptoms of menopause, will /may cause serious side effects, but instead I stop and breath, as I now see/realize/understand reacting will only compromise me and in this make it impossible for me to effectively direct myself. I take responsibility to find a solution, out of the mind and in the physical.

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