I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become hope, as in just a thought/idea/character, projecting into the future/envisioning, a picture of me at peace like everything is done/complete/perfect, because I could not face the fear of trying/doing/action in the physical and the possible failure thereof and so buried my head in the sand, in self-interest, and pretended everything would be fine.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to , as hope, engage in inner chatter ‘well, you have seven years’ as an excuse to not sit and write my blog, work on my dip (Desteni I Process Course)as if 7 years is some magic number and something magic will happen to me, when I know in common sense I change as I physically change my very being, thread by thread , and breath by breath, as I had made myself over a 50 years period, so I will delete what is here as me and re-program me into life that will stand up for what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to not be deliberate in moments and continuously forget to breathe in awareness and then engage in backchat that says its hopeless/I’ll never do it/ impossible OR go into a fantasy that I am already sooo much more ‘here’ , as in aware of each moment, instead of lost in my mind of inner conversation, which is not yet true.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, as the Hope character, I have participated in the following emotional reactions of : relief, ‘peace’, a feeling of ‘it’s done’ ‘nothing to worry about’, feeling no stress/anxiety & physical reactions/responses of : relaxation of my jaw, a loosening of the muscles in my neck and shoulders, a lightness in my head and ease of movement in my entire body.
I commit myself to, through writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to stop myself when I see I am becoming the manifestation of hope as I now see/realize/understand I must bring myself out of my head/clouds in the sky, back down to the physical/earth and MOVE to create -for real- what it is I had ‘hoped’ for/fantasized about, one breath at a time, as a world that is best for all in equality.
I commit myself to be aware of the hope character, as it pops up in my mind, as the first word/picture as: creation/process/7/done/easy/complete/perfect/young and to walk through the fear of actual work to be faced and done in the physical, and to then use my breath to walk what point I am facing.
I commit myself to stop all such participation with inner chatter/internal conversation about breath awareness being impossible AND to also stop all engagement in thoughts/pictures – in polarity-that ‘ah, my work is done’ as if I have already stopped the mind, as I now see realize understand this is firstly giving up and then in polarity I go into HOPE and not me being the responsible/directive principal of me here, moving me to get the task done.
I commit myself to, through a daily application of principled living, to stop myself whenever I become aware of the negative emotions and reactions present within/as me if I face what requires to be done/move in the physical to complete the task I am facing-which is reality- then replaced by the positive emotions and reactions as the promise of the HOPE Character-by not doing anything at all, but just an illusion in my mind that all is complete, as I now see/realize/understand to refuse to participate in these emotions & physical reactions strengthens my stand in the decision of who I am and what I do by NOT allowing the mind to manipulate me with energy, and thus using the tools of writing and self-forgiveness I assist and support myself with energy layer releases each time I remain here and say no to the mind.
I commit myself to nothingness, free from thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, internal conversations, characters and personalities and backchat.