Day 34: Some Realizations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to not realize, I have become the worrier.

In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop myself when the first thought arises, as a single picture or word in my mind, opening up a whole pandora’s box of worry, and then to engage with my inner chatter/backchat as if it is important/necessary, when it is not and only keeps me occupied in illusion so I am not directing myself here in each moment in full self-awareness,  responsibly as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop myself , physically saying outloud ‘STOP’,  and my participation of following these thoughts, as if I have to, when I can simply use breath, as in breathe through the thoughts/backchat, and not allowing myself to become possessed by them and take me away from my point that I am currently facing in my day, that is before me in the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I am not trusting myself as breath but am trusting to remain unaware, as an organic robot essentially, a constant/continuous stream of thoughts/memories/pictures arise in my mind and I am oblivious to this and think it is me, being me.

In that , I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to instead be directed by & trust fear, as this fear begins the whole possession, telling me I must not stop thinking or I will not effectively ‘look after’ all the areas of my life that need attention and then I will lose the money I have/lose my home/lose my relationship/lose the love/respect of my children: Fear Of Loss!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I cannot effectively contribute to another beings process. In that , I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think whatever I contribute will be criticized/rejected or just ‘put up’ with and considered of no real value to anyone, to compare myself to other Destonians and think they would be/are more effective/right/know better in regards to supporting and assisting others on an individual basis and mankind as a whole/earth as a whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I don’t participate ‘right’/correctly/well enough and that I should just stay in the sidelines and not make a nuisance of myself. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up/back out because of fear of falling/failing/making a mistake and looking foolish and so based on self-interest-How I Look to Others-versus taking a chance to assist and support another human being and falling and then  simply getting back up.

Self-Commitment Statements To Follow

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