Day 37: I work hard for my money SO YOU CAN’T TAKE IT

There is much fear around the idea, even mention of, an equal money system in this world, for myself and others. Today I will look at these fears and face them to break it down to the reality of what I am in and out and not just illusion/delusion of the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I don’t want to give up all my money, my possessions for the implementation of an equal money system.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear and thus engage in inner chatter/internal conversation thinking the following thought pattern, ‘I’ll be poor, helpless, screw that, I”m going to protect myself, I’m not going hungry, cold, without a home. I want to help others but I learned that lesson already, being ‘nice’ and then taken advantage of and I’m afraid this equal money idea won’t work and I’ll be left alone and once again stupid in trusting others and not myself.’

Furthermore, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in backchat/internal conversation that is suspicious and vicious in nature, ‘They will lie to me, they don’t care about me, others won’t give up there money and especially the ones who have a lot so why should I? Everything will break down so there will be no internet/communication  and I’ll be isolated and helpless and no on will  take care of me so I better protect myself,  I’ve suffered enough, I’ve tried to be a good person, let the others give their money, I don’t have enough.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have images and imaginations in my mind of me being homeless, on the street at night, cold, desolate, unsafe, vulnerable if I agree to an equal money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to going into an energetic reaction self-pity, anger, anxiety, all building into fear, fear of loss of my money and possessions and of the hope that one day I’ll ‘make it’ suddenly become rich, filthy rich, through a lottery win/marriage/inheritance, so fear of losing that chance no matter how slim it is , if I agree to give up my money for the good of all in equality. In that , I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to relate/connect this to memories of past financial loss and to memories of a time in my life wrought with jealously/wanting/desiring more of the goodies/spoils I feel I have ‘missed out on’ in this life; the freedom financial wealth brings to ones life to purchase luxury items such as; clothes, jewelery, decorate your home, own a cottage on a lake, take vacations abroad, buy a $400 purse, those cool new shoes all the other girls are wearing, gifts for my children, eat out and spend what I fancy, the luxury of not having to check what the price tag says, indulge in expensive hobbies like songwriting and recording, owing a boat/sea-doo, bike trips to Europe, buy the latest fashions each season, drive a sports car. All this in absolute self-interest, not caring a whit about my responsibility to/as the rest of humanity/nature/the animal kingdom but lost in a bubble of self-delusion and greed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear in thinking, ‘By the time equal money is stabilized I’ll be old and die and won’t get to enjoy it anyway, it’ll be too late for me and once again I am left out of the fun’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience the following behavioral changes in my physical body of:  tightening of my jaw, shallow breathing, tightening of my chest muscles into my back, and neck, pressure in my head when I think about giving up my money for the good of all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subject myself to the consequences of becoming so stiff with fear that I am like a statute;  unmoving, petrified and I do nothing, can do nothing because I have entered a timeloop of ‘being stuck’ so cannot flow/move/and thus be part of a change/growth as one and equal with all of humanity/the animal kingdom/nature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself , as another, to think, ‘I deserve everything I have, I worked hard, went to school, others have not, that is their own fault and their responsibility , not mine, I take care of myself and my family, it’s impossible to change human nature, equal money is communism and history has proven it does not work.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, as another, think, ‘ No one is going to tell me I can’t have my boat and trips to the coast each year and give my children the best I can, I grew up poor and worked my ass off to be able to afford these luxuries.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, as another think, ‘I’m not giving up my individuality. My style as in clothing/fashion, hair, make-up, interior decorating, the shops I like, the restaurant I like MY LIFESTYLE defines who I am and I won’t let anyone tell me otherwise. It is no ones business how I live/what I do. I’m not harming anyone so leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone. Poverty has always been part of human existence and nothing can change that.’

Commitment Statements to Follow

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