Continuing with Commitment Statements–as the practical living daily solution, after walking the self forgiveness (Day 53 and 54) as to WHY I would accept and allow myself, to torture myself, with continual thoughts about ‘the little things’ that needed to be done in my day.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to longer suppress myself/remain silent when I see an injustice in this world but continue to speak up, as in write about it/vlog about it through my participation withDesteni as I now /see/realize/understand we are not separate but a whole living entity called ‘earth’ and we all effect each other and we must learn to live/breathe as one and equal so all may enjoy/flourish/grow to their utmost potential of /as life and no one and nothing is left behind as ‘small’ ‘unimportant’ as I felt often as a child.
I commit myself to stop myself whenever I find I am going into/engaging in memories, as moving pictures in my mind, of my siblings being verbally harassed/abused by my father, and then participating in the emotion of guilt by immediately stop myself, saying NO and move my attention/awareness to REALITY in paying attention to what I am facing/doing in the PHYSICAL as I now see, realize and understand the more I participate in these memories, the more I am giving energy to the Mind and the less I am actually contributing to myself/my living here and will so no more accept/allow memories to decide who I am, as I WILL myself to move myself into and as actual, physical, practical, real application. As well, I see/understand it is useless and a waste of my time, as it does not change the past/assist my siblings in any way but who I am/how I move here, in each moment of breath, does/can effectively change my living/life and possibly that of another who is interested in hearing the Desteni message.
I commit myself to stop myself, through writing, self-forgiveness and a daily self-corrective application, whenever I find I am becoming the ‘incompetent’ character as I now see/realize/understand it was my Dad’s own lack of self-trust/honesty and addiction to alcohol that caused him to treat his children as ‘less than’ as well I have taken on this ‘incompetent’ character and lived it as me, beLIEving the lie– that these memories/thoughts/fears/emotions/pictures in my mind–are me, when they are not me, but a running/live program that exists within my very flesh as the mind embodiment/physical mind, making it impossible for me to direct myself here, in each moment as the breath of life, stealing my very life, as I am constantly preoccupied with this incompetent character chattering away to me and then giving up or rushing and then manifesting it/proving it to myself , re-living the past over and over.
I commit myself to stop myself whenever I am directed by self-doubt/second guessing my decisions, and hence fear of failure, because I am not good enough/competent to make the ‘right’ choice and in that constantly being in fear of attack, as in verbal assault/criticism as I now see/realize/understand this is an excuse to limit myself and not change and, as well, it is based on self-interest of supposedly protecting myself from the big bad world and authority figures and hence I used substances-alcohol, sleep aids, food- or exercise, sex, excitment to ‘feel’ better and is not useful to me or anyone/thing else as it makes no contribution to changing me in my living as what is best for all or changing the world as a whole into a place of equality.