Day 59: Walking the solution: Out of the Mind and into the World

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This is the conclusion, for now, of facing anxiety from the little things in my day  that I felt totally overwhelmed by  (Day 53 and 54). Interestingly, what I have found is the point of rushing from the starting point of fear, fear for my own self-interested survival, based on a belief ‘I am inferior/not good enough’ from childhood experiences!

I commit myself to assist and support myself, to stop myself,whenever I think I am average looking and have to ‘doll’ myself up for my husband or other men, in case my husband and I split up, or women so they think I am worthy of their attention/friendship, and bring myself back to the physical as I now see/realize/understand I am just me here, it makes no difference what others think and I no longer accept and allow myself to value outer appearance from the starting point of the polarities of pretty/ugly, plain/beautiful, better/less, as it is superficial and feeds into the evil that is existent in this world by using human being as commodities and not as the equal value as life.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and a daily self-corrective application, stop myself whenever I find I am going into my mind thinking I am of average intelligence and average ability/skill/talent in the arts and bring myself out of my mind of illusion, based on past memory experiences and back to reality in the physical, as I now see/realize/understand it only feeds/strengthens my mind to participate and in these energies of emotions of jealously/self-doubt/self-pity and fear of rejection, based in self-interest, and it is no longer acceptable to me to make excuses to not learn new things/push myself to excel/create music. Instead, I now push myself to move myself effectively, moment to moment, using breath as a tool to stay out of my mind, knowing fear is not real but a design of the mind and I commit to no longer letting fear stop me from participating and contributing to the creation a world that is best for all, exemplifying and assisting others.

I commit myself to remind myself that no one is average, disposable/unimportant/can be overlooked and that includes me, as I now see/realize/understand if I engage in such inner chatter/beliefs/thoughts, I am not standing up for all, as one, in absolute equality as life!

I commit myself to assist and support myself, through a daily self-corrective application to stop myself whenever I find I am in my mind of self-doubt/hesitating in fear that I have made/will make the wrong choice and I say ‘STOP’ and bring myself back down to earth and I commit to SLOW DOWN, not panic but use common sense to investigate the point thoroughly before making a choice/decision, knowing I am capable and can move effectively when I am coming from the starting point of the physical reality of my world/life, I can use the tools of; writing out the pros and cons, writing out self-forgiveness on fears from past experiences that come up, write out how this decision will practically effect my life ie. financially. In that, I commit to letting the small decisions go and remind myself it does not matter and it is a waste of my time to sweat whether I ordered the soup or the sandwich for lunch or choose the red or the blue one and get back to focusing on the more pertinent tasks before me, in my day.

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