Please refer to Day 85 and Day 86 for context to this blog, examining myself as the character, ‘The remorseful alcoholic’.
I will continue deconstructing the thought,’‘Oh, F, I totally ruined my parent’s wedding anniversary party and it’s memory, for everyone’.
So, in part 2, I wrote out the prominent memories that circle around in my head about this event, horrible as it was, and applied self-forgiveness. However, that is only one step of the process required to heal yourself-free yourself from the past as memories. NOW one needs to know what to do-how to respond should/when they reoccur.
You definatly don`t want to suppress the memories/just push them down/force them underground, but to face/acknowledge them in self-honesty and then not FOLLOW them down the rabbit hole of the mind, so as to eventually remove them-physically from your body so-until eventually, they no longer come up.
I realize there were alot of memories that I wrote about in the previous blog but, as this process is very specific, it was necessary.
I commit myself, to assist and support myself, to stop myself whenever I begin to go into imagination with one of these memories-and this character of the remorseful alcoholic- and to be aware of the first pixel as a picture in my mind and so as to not go further with it `playing out`but to remain in stability with breath as me here and to bring myself back to reality as I now see-realize-understand to go along in and as imagination only serves to strengthen my mind- as the past- instead of me living as the directive principal of myself here, it does not change the past and is therefore useless, I remain as a slave-robot to consciousness and I cannot effectively live in the current reality of what I should be doing with my day, it brings up-takes me into emotions which can harm me.
I commit myself, through writing, self-forgiveness and a daily application of self-corrective action, to the process of stopping myself from participating in my imagination, with regards to my parents wedding anniversary party, by using breath awareness to be aware of where my mind is going in each moment as I now see realize and understand the past is just that -PAST- and I cannot effectively assist and support another if I am lost in my mind of illusion, I cannot grow-change-expand-create my life, myself, or another as myself, if I continue to allow the program I have created and accepted -as the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind-to continue running on automatic and so I commit to the process of stopping this use of the imagination.
I commit myself to: `the Process of walking from Personality/Character as Energy as an illusionary version of self as an ill use relationship of SELF to the Physical, and re-align one’s SELF to/as the LIVING WORD as the Living Flesh in making self’s life/living REAL, HERE `Sunette Spies
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Here are some essential documentaries for you to make the time to watch to get an understanding of human nature to firstly even understand how something so Ill-Logical as War can be accepted even to this day, which stands as proof that humanity has not ever really evolved.
“The Century of the Self is a British television documentary series by Adam Curtis. It focuses on how the work of Sigmund Freud, Anna Freud, and Edward Bernays influenced the way corporations and governments have analyzed, dealt with, and controlled people.”
This documentary explains and shows how psychological manipulation of desires and fears has been utilized to manipulation and control society that shows how we’ve been implanted with ideas and beliefs that effect our behaviour and what we accept and allow as Our Reality.
“Brilliant…Riveting…The amount of material the filmmaker covers and unifies is astounding…Human Resources diagnoses the 20th century.” – Stephen Soldz, Professor, Boston Graduate School of Psychoanalysis; President, Psychologists for Social Responsibility
This documentary shows the experimentations that were done which show that we are not born with fear but that it is learned as a conditioned behavior, and how this has been utilized for manipulation and to breed separation and hate for the purpose of keeping us from working together to actually change our economic system and stop the abuse of life, and which forms the justification for us to actually accept going to war against each other. When war never leads to an actual solution, to actual real lasting effective change where we can live in a world in harmony with each other, but simply leads to more hate and war, which those who profit off of war are quite fine with. Yet everyone else suffers the loss of quality of life in uncountable ways, including actual loss of life. Let’s look at some of the main ways that war ruins life.
“A gripping, deeply informative account of the plunder, hypocrisy, and mass violence of plutocracy and empire; insightful, historically grounded and highly relevant to the events of today.This documentary is about the foreign policy of the United States. It demonstrates the importance of the political economy, the Mafia principle, propaganda, ideology, violence and force.
It documents and explains how the policy is based on the interest of major corporations and a tiny elite to increase profits and the United States governments own interests in maintaining and expanding it’s imperialistic influence.
Inside the United States this has been made possible with a propaganda of fear for the horrible enemies like the Soviet Union, Communists and so on and a love for “free markets”, “democracy”, “freedom” and so on.Externally (and increasingly internally) this has caused massive poverty and suffering, genocide, war, coups, crushed unions and popular movements and environmental destruction.”
The Trap documentary series
This series consists of three one-hour programmes which explore the concept and definition of freedom, specifically, “how a simplistic model of human beings as self-seeking, almost robotic, creatures led to today’s idea of freedom.”