Day 95: Eliminating Anger, One Reaction at a Time

196574_176586602392056_175698322480884_473191_276238_n_thumb[2]Please read Day 94, the previous blog for context to this post.  I will include the situation here and the thought I am re-constucting:

ANGER: THE SITUATION I had a strong reaction of anger to an e-mail I received in which the sender said some things about me -which were true but I thought harsh– as I had intended  a message I had written to be perceived differently than the way it was, which was taken literally versus as an ‘ideal’. However, I understand, how a communication-that I have written-is perceived is largely my responsibility , especially in the context of this particular one because I cannot assume (ass-u-me) that the reader will understand what I write as a ‘ideal’ or whatever–but that they will take what  I write literally (in most cases-of course there are humorous writings) UNLESS I SPECIFY OTHERWISE. So this is common sense and my anger was a reaction to protect myself and mend my ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become anger and blame and AS anger and blame think, ‘Who does he think he is, saying I am this and that? It’s not my fault if he exaggerates and doesn’t get what I was saying!’    In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear and self-doubt that perhaps this person is right so then jump into deflecting this fear by using blame and focusing on the other and NOT facing myself.

When and as I see myself as desiring to blame another because for a moment it takes the emphasis off of me and my own process ,so within this I see/realise and understand that I am seeking to gain a sense of power/superiority from blaming another.  I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down enough to walk my own process and stop attempting to blame others to make me feel better in that moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate/engage in backchat/inner conversation of a vicious and blaming nature so as to make myself feel better that I am right and do not have to change of some of the following : he thinks he’s so smart/superior/better than me, screw him/them, well I may as well give up/I try so hard-give so much and this is what I get in return, F it, obviously that is not what I meant, it was in general, what is he stupid?

When and as I see myself beginning to talk /gossip/complain about others inside my own head,  I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down enough to walk my own process and stop attempting to blame others to make me feel better in that moment.as I now see/realize/understand I am actually  manipulating myself because I am uncomfortable with the emotions I am experiencing and do not want to ‘sit’ with them/look at them, so I talk myself out of the uncomfortable position and into a new position of victor/superiority  inside my own head- thereby getting the reward of the positive energy experience of winner/powerful victor. This is done in complete self-interest and does not resolve the issue of anger and blame but avoids it completely. And so I commit to slow myself down, look/examine what I am experience and walk my process.

Heal Yourself
Heal Yourself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into /indulge in first the negative energy reactions of emotions of : anger/blame/inferiority/fear/less than/not good enough/self-doubt, self-judgement/hate/resent and then polarize myself, head on into the positive energy experience using the following feelings:  superiority through being right and also wisdom based on age/better than/powerful.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience the physical consequences of muscle stiffness and ache in my neck and shoulders, tightness in my jaw which leads to a slight headache and anxiety and stress in my solar plexes. In that, knowing that these physical reactions are a result of the energy produced by participating in the emotions, which lead to the tearing /consuming of the muscle tissue, eating away of the flesh of the body.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through the process of stopping participation in these reactions of emotions and feelings toward anger as I cannot effectively direct myself here in physical equality and oneness Or in self-honesty when I am lost inside my own head and busy with aches and pains /anxiety which is a subsequent outflow of agreeing to engage in these emotions , just a distraction to take me away from dealing with the matter at hand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have to, once again re-live  the consequences of my anger as: when I react to anger I am going inside my mind with all sorts of thoughts, memories coming up, feeding off the energy so bringing up other emotions and this energy all building–SO THEN I AM NOT PRESENT in that moment-in reality-to deal  with what is happening in a CALM, LOGICAL WAY and I speak too fast/make decisions too quickly-from the past and emotions connected to the past and do the same old thing/timeloop myself by having to face the guilt/shame for reacting in haste, perhaps apologizing for my rash behavior/speech, possibly cut ties with people-being directed and controlled by fear-fear of rejection and fear of loss so leave them before they leave me and fear not being good enough so I give up or make rash decisions that I regret later.

Another consequence is existing in a illusionary bubble, polarizing my relationships, as me the weak one/victim and the other the strong one/bully, me the ‘right/good’ one, the other the ‘wrong/evil’ one. As I am one of MANY on this planet who react in/with anger, there are millions of us reacting with emotion which leads to further separation and possibly communication breakdown and conflict! In that, conflict can result because/as the emotion of anger unresolved tends to fester (memories can be exaggerated/changed to suit /feed one’s ego over time)and become resentment, hate and this can lead to conflict in the form or verbal exchange/arguement, gossip, physical violence, and even war.

And so, when and as I see myself falling into the trap of anger and blame I commit to THE PROCESS of stopping all such participation to end the cycle of reliving consequence, so go from consequence/outflow management to directive living in which I am aware/slow down/look-examine the situation/walk my process as in taking responsibility to change me/ and then in the future NOT participate in reactions but remain stable with breath –even as a thought/image come to mind to say ‘NO! no participating’ so as  to stop timelooping into infinity with ANGER.

Join Us in the Process of ‘freeing’ oneself from Consciousness as Provided in the Desteni I Process LITE which is a FREE Course and the Desteni I Process PRO, and returning to one’s Source-Beingness and equal and one Physical Body Relationship.

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