To transcend pain without using the mind-just words- is bad/wrong.
I had a terrible cold last week. I had not been sick for a few years and it really hit me. I was into meditation many years ago and would lie on my bed and say ‘positive affirmation’ statements like, ‘I am getting the rest I need’ and at times when I had tightness in my shoulders and upper back I would say something like ‘I am letting go of this pain’ and found that it would dissipate. It would usually return however, as I got up and continued with my day.
There have been various times throughout my life when I made a statement- outloud or in my mind or focused on something intensely and was able to do it/succeed in immediacy. Basically, it always ‘freaked me out’/caused fear and I would not ‘think’ about it or investigate this point. The other day, I was particularly full of aches and pains from the cold and probably some stress, and was able to transcend some pain and it stayed away. Today, in this blog I am beginning to investigate this point of releasing pain. I hardly think this is ‘new’ or some special ability, I realize it is not, however, it was suggested to me to investigate the point by writing about it so that is what I am doing here.
The experience last week was much more definitive and clear than ever before: I lay on my bed with my eyes closed and was focused on deep(ish) breathing and NOT participating in thoughts/pictures in my mind, so each time a thought would come I would breathe through it or apply self-forgiveness but mostly just a quiet mind for about 10 minutes. I noticed I was very achy in my arms, shoulders, neck , upper back and had a mild head ache, as I mentioned I had a bad cold. I thought, ‘I’m sick of this pain’ then I remembered I may be able to ‘get rid of it’ without a drug and right now so I could enjoy my nap, lol. I stopped thinking and went back to breath, 2 breaths then I very clearly and somewhat ‘strongly’ stated in my mind: ‘I release all aches and pains’. Then I JUST FOCUSED ON TAKING ANOTHER DEEP BREATH-no thoughts-no images in my mind. I was still lying on my bed with my eyes closed. Then something happened (has happened before but not so definitively), it was like a space opened up, like a clearing with a whiteness or blankness-a nothingness. Then, or at about the same time-not sure- I felt total/complete release of the aches and pain in all areas of my body and head. I just kept using breath and not the mind. When this has happened in the past, often the aches and pains would return shortly after but this time they did not. I’m assuming-since the only thing that is different is my participation within Desteni I Process/JTL blogging which is about focusing on becoming a more physical being and less of a mind being-THAT THIS IS WHY-so I was able to remain out of my mind of thinking-doubts as in backchat ‘is it coming back?it will return.this won’t last’ that I would usually engage in. That is the only difference ! I did not go back into thoughts!
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘To transcend pain without using the mind-just words- is bad/wrong. I should not do this, it is like magic and could be dangerous. I can’t make it last anyway. I’m not the type of person who can do this kind of thing. What does it mean if I can transcend pain using just words? Others will think I’m ‘too big for my britches’ ” dictionary.com: asserting oneself beyond one’s authority or ability.
When and as I see I am going into my mind with this thought/thought pattern, I immediately stop myself and bring my awareness back to my physical body and to reality/ what is before me in the physical as I now see/realize/understand I am allowing my mind to manipulate me with guilt and fear because I have not done this constantly /consistently -so unsure if it is a fact, I don’t want to made untrue statements, get ahead of myself/rush to conclusions. As well, I am used to self-judgement and self-criticizm, I don’t want the responsibility of investigating a point I could be criticized for, fear of failure, fear of looking ‘stupid’, fear of judgement. I also realize I am using my mind of drama-needing/wanting to be entertained- to over exaggerate a point of simple investigation as I know people have been doing this –more using visual techniques with the mind-for centuries, I am allowing my mind, as the ‘fear of failure/not good enough’ character take control /possess me so I do not stand up and direct myself here with a simple writing task-putting on paper what I have been doing really for years.
To continue in the next post
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