In this post, I am continuing investigating and deconstructing this thought: ‘To transcend pain without using the mind-just words- is bad/wrong’. Please refer to Day 124 and Day 125 for context to this blog.
From the previous post:
The experience last week was much more definitive and clear than ever before … then I very clearly and somewhat ‘strongly’ stated in my mind: ‘I release all aches and pains’. Then I JUST FOCUSED ON TAKING ANOTHER DEEP BREATH-no thoughts-no images in my mind. I was still lying on my bed with my eyes closed. Then something happened, it was like a space opened up, like a clearing with a whiteness or blankness-a nothingness. Then, or at about the same time, I felt a total/complete release of the aches and pain in all areas of my body and head, like a wave but from the center of the body out as a opposed to from top to bottom kind of thing. I just kept using breath and not the mind. When this has happened in the past, often the aches and pains would return shortly after but this time they did not. I’m assuming-since the only thing that is different is my participation within Desteni I Process/JTL blogging which is about focusing on becoming a more physical being and less of a mind being-THAT THIS IS WHY-so I was able to remain out of my mind of thinking-doubts as in backchat ‘is it coming back?it will return.this won’t last’ that I would usually engage in. That is the only difference ! I did not go back into thoughts!
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as my imagination around this thought with images of woman being burned at the stake for witchcraft (lol), memories of past experiences when I dabbled in making things happen in an instant and it frightened me, memories of reading spiritual material (A Course In Miracles) in my bedroom of my old house, memories of sitting at my computer where it used to be in my kitchen, images of assisting people with transcending pain in the future.
When and as I see myself going into my mind with pictures, moving images-accessing memories, moving from this moment in space and time within my own mind from past to present to future I stop myself and bring my awareness back to here with my breath and focus on reality and my human physical body and what is before me, as I now see/realize/understand all else is illusion, it is useless and a waste of my time to think of the past or some perceived future as it does not change what is here, I can not effectively direct myself when I am lost in my mind of imagination and complete tasks that are my responsibility within my day, it only leads to further mind energies being created like the emotion of fear which feeds off the physical as it transforms substance into further mind energy and can lead to harm. I also realize most meditations use visual techniques and positive affirmations-not specific statements to accomplish in that moment as I am doing-whereas how I am using breath to transcend pain is a practice that has been associated with witchcraft/magic BUT they are really just the same thing in different packaging-it is simply a matter of time/moments strung out one after another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to engage in the emotion of fear, guilt, anxiety, doubt, blame, self-blame, self-doubt and anger around this thought of transcending aches and pains using breath awareness within this ‘here’ moment-here meaning in this moment/no thoughts of past -present-future/no time.
When and as I see myself participating/engaging within/as these negative emotions concerning this thought of using breath to transcend aches and pains, I immediately stop myself and use my breath to bring my awareness back to my physical body and surrounding as I now see/realize/understand: I no longer want to exist as an organic robot who is simply responding to/reacting to energy in a pre-programmed (dna) design, moving myself in the design of self-interest as I protect the fear of failure/not good enough character. I am sick of it, allowing a little picture-from the past- and feelings control me, I use these emotions of guilt/fear/self-doubt as an excuse to not investigate new things/grow/expand, how can I be a living example of change/birthing myself as life in the physical through the JTL process and the Desteni I Process to my children/others/ MYSELF if I am not actually willing to do it/live it one breath at a time , FINALLY it actually doesn’t take much time or effort to change myself compared to all the thinking/carrying around ‘heavy’ energy versus just MOVING AND DOING IT.
I CAN ALSO SEE HOW USING BREATH-HERE-THESE EMOTIONS FADE AWAY AND I AM JUST HERE-not using energy at all not all pumped up/excited one way or another but stable and the fear is gone and can move easily to accomplish tasks throughout my day. I also realize this ‘I’m not good enough’ character spills over into other areas of my life (marriage/music/career), kept me stuck using alcohol (sober 9 years now) and/or sleeping methods to play out this point, allowing me to avoid trying/following through with any degree of completion/sustainability and thus no success.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the consequences of engaging in my mind instead of remaining present/here with breath of ; strengthening my mind- as the conscious and subconscious- thus not strengthening my stand here, not exemplifying the Desteni message of oneness and equality and being fully physical (not a mind system) so as to not stand as complete stability in each moment, as someone that can be trusted to do/live the principal of ‘what is best for all’ and not just in self-interest, and I timeloop myself and have to face this point, of thinking ‘To transcend pain without using the mind-just words- is bad/wrong’ and following the thought, over and over again until I am able to trust myself not to engage/participate in the mind, breathe through it, when it comes up. When instead I can simply practice this physical exercise to perfect and understand it (it will become more effective or it won’t) in common sense.
I commit myself, to assist and support myself, to the process of freeing myself and others from the many consequences that result from mind participation and specifically around this issue of me acting as the ‘fear of failure’/‘I’m not good enough’ character. Thus, when I see this character, I immediately stop, I breathe and bring myself back to the physical as I now see/realize/understand when I participate in the mind I create consequences, which creates a time loop, so I am not facing myself in self-honesty in that moment and will have to re-walk the point , when I could simply slow down and face what has come up within myself- in this moment. I also see it is self-sabotoge, as re-living the past/creating the future from the past, instead of being self-honest/self-directive in the moment here.
“A Few Points about Equal Money Capitalism, just to Wet your Appetite:
– It will Bring an End to All Debt in the World
– Property Ownership will be a Basic Human Right
– Healthcare will be a Basic Human Right
– Happiness will be a Basic Human Right
– Employment will be a Basic Human Right
– Education will be a Basic Human Right
– Freedom of Choice will be a Basic Human Right
This is But a Few of the Results of the Law of “Giving as you would like to Receive”, Embodied in Capitalism that is Based On Equal Rights for Every Human Being on Earth.
Every Human Being Claim ‘the Right to Life’, yet there is no Protection of this Right – unless you, in the Current Capitalism, have the Benefit of Money; this Equal Money Capitalism (EMC), will Prevent. What will also be Prevented, is War. As War is Profit-Driven.
It is Time for a New World System. One Based on Prevention, instead of Reaction. One Based on Honouring the Right of Life, Equally for All.