Please read the previous 3 posts for context to this blog . From Day 141: The next word I will examine and deconstruct, in relation to my eyesight is ‘impossible’. Interesting word on many fronts, it is actually an end point, a final bowing out, an admission stating, ‘I am powerless to change this’ …Apparently, it is quite acceptable, in today’s world, to wash your hands of any and all responsibility to any breakdown of the human body, including ones eyes as I am facing here, as it is god/the way it is /the circle of life/the universe/whatever and not in fact ourselves–as part of that ‘force’ one gives all power to. Well, if that force/god encompasses all, ARE WE NOT PART OF THAT ‘ALL’? Yup, so why do we abdicate our responsibility? That is all I am doing here, removing blame and self-pity and beginning a process of investigation.
Continuing: Self-Commitment Statements and Self-Corrective Application
Internal Conversation and Backchat Dimension
When and as I see myself participating within my mind of backchat/internal conversation around the word ‘impossible’, specifically with regards to my eyesight, I stop and breathe and pull myself back to reality and the physical, and state ‘No, not participating’ as I now realize engaging in ‘talking to myself ‘ is just talking to my memories based on the past, knowledge and information I have accumulated throughout my lifetime and what I constantly fed as stimuli to keep me pre-occupied and obsessed within self-interest and survival and NOT what I, and all as I, are capable of becoming and living here. In that, I understand that the mind as it exists currently is not functioning in a way that is best for all within-as in ones mind/body/beingness OR without-as in the world systems.
Emotion and Feeling
When and as I see myself going into fear, anger, blame, helplessness/hopelessness around the word ‘impossible’ and the thought, ‘This is useless, I am being a fool again, I cannot heal my eyes, it is impossible’ I remind myself ‘no more, I do not accept/allow my awareness, my who I am, to be defined within/as such energies’. I stop. I breathe, and I commit me to change, as I now understand how these energies control my behavior and my actions to be that of apathy, compliance, and giving up using the excuse of ‘human nature’ and how you can’t change human nature and you can’t change the world and so…I don’t.
Physical Reactions and Behaviors
When and as I see myself allowing physical reactions/changes to occur within my body-through fear and apathy-within my accepted relationship to & associations with the word ‘impossible’ I stop and breathe, I relax and focus on the sounds around me and what is here in my reality/my day to get grounded, as I now realize how I am instructing, layer by layer, my body to respond to words-as words are codes within the physical- and are alive as a force/are part of a sequence of how the physical behaves and so I commit to take greater responsibility within the words I speak so to change the relationship from one of harm, to one of harmony, to make each part of the physical aware, so as to ‘..assist each other as part and as whole to a more sustainable functioning unit that will be best for all parts.’ Bernard Poolman
When and as I see myself having gone so far down the rabbit hole with this thought pattern & relationship to the word ‘impossible’, that I have manifested consequence, I realize I cannot change what has occurred but I can continue my process to prevent further consequence in the future, by stopping participation within the mind of consciousness and remaining diligent to be here-using breath awareness-also by being aware of the words I speak so I eventually become the living word-as self-responsible- instead of just living unaware and thus having to react to what I create/manifest all the time, not realizing I created it in the first place! In that, I now understand by becoming/standing in full responsibility I am no longer helpless/hopeless but a directive force/being alive and able to support and assist another.
Re-Defining the Word ‘Impossible’:
Impossible = Im-Possible = I’m Possible I” m- Poss- Pull I’m- Pulling
So as I forgive ( fore-give) this, I am gifting to myself-even before I receive it- the possibility of change of growth and repair of the physical eye, so it may learn /become aware with me and take steps to heal/reconstitute and so re-gain it’s closer range, focusing/functioning abilities.
Impossible: I’m possible, in that the trinity I exist as, of mind/body/beingness, is the actual manifestation of ‘possible/possibilities’, being in the process of becoming life as the living word in the physical, and so I become the directive principal of me here, thus no longer search outside of myself but realize all is me, within and without, and I take full responsibility of what occurs in both universes and direct both in awareness, moment by moment with breath. As ‘I’m possible’ I am pulling this life force/awareness into myself in the very movement of investigation, participation and integration to become part of my whole self to create what is best for all.
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