Day 188: Gratitude for Bernard Poolman

forgive yourself2I was stunned, in disbelief, when I head the news of Bernard’s passing. I am deeply saddened.  Many tears have fallen. Don’t really know how to express my deep gratefulness (was hoping to do so in person next summer, as I am planning to visit the farm) to Bernard so I will attempt to keep it simple and direct.

As someone shared today, Bernard would say, ‘Why are you crying for me, why are you not equally crying for the thousands of children who died yesterday of starvation?’  Why indeed!  As usual, Bernard is spot on, cutting through all the crap, all the propaganda and lies the world has fed us, our entire lives.

Bernard never did this. He lived absolute, from the first video I heard of him to the last blog I read, he was the first person I have really trusted in this world.  Thank you Bernard for showing me it is possible to trust another human being, that we are capable of becoming trust worthy because before I ‘met’ Bernard I did not believe it was possible (unfortunately, I did not meet B in person but attended several online group chats, private chats, taking DIP and other involvements).  In fact, he showed me that it is not only possible to trust another human being but that it is imperative. That makes sense to me but I never had the courage to speak it, at least not more than once.  Bernard did, he had guts, the guts to speak the truth, over and over again.

Thank you Bernard, for consistently teaching, showing, exemplifying that it is not ‘just human nature‘ that so many atrocities occur in this world daily, but that it is because of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. That is the reason people are starving to death, while we watch, ignore, justify, blame- we do anything but take self-responsibility- and we do not even shed a tear.  Why? Because ‘there’s nothing you can do about it, it is god’s will/plan, they choose this life, it’s their governments responsibility not yours….’  The lies go on and on, I hated it but I felt helpless.

But then came this man, booming voice over the internet, who said ‘NO, this is unacceptable! …This must end and we will end it!…There can be no secrets… we are individual but not separate…’  What?  I had always thought that but this man was speaking it and sharing it!  I could hardly believe someone of such conviction, courage and integrity existed!  He was the first person that made sense to me in my entire life. He gave me, and several others, direction and clear instructions of how to rid ourselves of the past, how to begin the process of creating ourselves from scratch, for real!  Not only this but he had walked the process by himself first, without any support and was offering this to us all!  I jumped at this opportunity and never looked back, through all the fear and self-doubt.

Bernard taught me not to suppress my emotions. Not to judge myself.  To breathe through (and forgive) self-doubt, and the dreaded desire to be liked.  He did it with grace, humor, unabashed candour, often a gentleness and insisted we (those in process) walk through any and all resistance, allowing no excuses.  I have surprised myself and yet am still in a process.

Don’t get me wrong, in no way am I suggesting I was not afraid/sometimes terrified of Bernard, I was!  But he also provided practical tools of support, so I am able to face whatever emotion comes up.  Not only that but Bernard explained what the fear in fact was/where it came from/how to de-construct that fear/then how to ‘walk’ it meaning live the change!

Bernard explained in precise detail, through the Portal, what happened to my mind and why, when I experienced ‘mental illness’/hearing voices. He set me free from my self-imposed chains of ‘I’m broken/defective/doomed as I’ve crossed some spooky line’.  So, because of Bernard I no longer have to ‘rely on a higher power’ believe in some god, I am free to take self-responsibility, to stand as a human being of integrity.  Because of Bernard I am free from isolating ’cause I’m different’, he validated my ‘questioning’ the universe/god and said ‘question everything, take nothing personal’. That is liberating, that is freedom, that is self-empowerment.  Bernard gave me my voice back when the world systems said ‘you are wrong, be quiet and stay in your box’. So I will get up and keep walking, not alone but within the group.

Bernard introduced me to the process of standing as one and equal, with all in existence.  Again, why would I want any less than this absoluteness?  It is the only thing that has ever made sense to me.

I will miss meeting you in person and getting to know you Bernard. Thank you for giving meaning to my life. Indeed, you have changed my life forever. I am eternally grateful for all you tireless support and assistance, your absolute dedication and I will continue to walk this process until it is dONE.

Please see Bernard’s blog here: Creation’s Journey to Life

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