Please read the previous 2 posts for context to this blog.
From the last post: So where to start? I am feeling a little better, no more tightness/constriction in my stomach and solar plexes. But now I have been experiencing extreme tightening of my throat/neck area, like I am choking! To assist myself I looked up the throat in Veno’s Stuctural Resonance document. Just scroll down, you will see the throat point at number 5…
Continuing with Self-Forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize when I am engaging in my mind of imagination, with pictures and memories, of when I had trouble with my mind 20 years ago, specifically pictures of the kitchen/main floor of the house lived in at that time, and pictures of Bernard and Anu (a representative drawing) come up in my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize when/how participating within such thought patterns is creating behavioral changes within my human physical body, specifically: tightening of my throat, tightening of my stomach muscles and within my solar plexes, shallow breathing, increase in heart rate, tightening of my shoulder and back muscles.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the massive consequences I am creating when I participate within such thinking/thought patterns, such as: * Following the first thought brings on more thoughts, which then brings up images in my mind of the past and present, resulting in creating emotional reactions which then leads to the physical manifestation of ANXIETY which harms my physical body! Thus I can see one leads to the next–it is a specific design of the mind consciousness system that can be completely avoided when I remain out of the mind, by using breath awareness here, so catching the first thought and not participating further! *I am training my body and mind to respond with/within the reaction of anxiety and all the physical symptoms, therefore it goes into anxiety quicker each time I participate. *I had such extreme physical symptoms I had to get a mild sedative, which one must be very cautious of as they can be addicting. Note: I took half a pill for about 4 or 5 days and have not taken any for the last 3 days, nor will I continue to take any more, as the medication served it’s purpose to assist and support the body-as I walk this change out of mind participation-to stabilize the physical.
Living the Solution:
Self-Corrective Statements and Application
When and as I see myself thinking I will not be able to rid myself of anxiety I stop, I breathe. I realize to follow this one thought leads me down the rabbit hole of more thoughts leading to: thought patterns–> imaginings–> emotional reactions–>changes within the body that can harm me–>external consequences ie. requiring medication, trouble sleeping to name a few. I thus remind myself that this is a useless waste of time, as it does not change anything in reality, and so I commit myself to stay here-out of the mind- on the cutting edge of time and not lost within illusionary past/present/future moments in the mind. I stand absolute and commit to the process of changing me.
When and as I see myself going into fear around this thought within comparing myself to others, rushing as worrying about time, fearing my own fear/anxiety I stop, I breathe. I understand allowing myself to engage in fear is self-sabotaging & self-destructive, as my fears come true because I am using up my physical body through energy and so cannot/do not complete my daily responsibilities. I thus remind myself to SLOW DOWN and be a physical being, moving with breath and the body to complete tasks, not rushing as in what the mind is directing me to do. I commit myself to completing daily responsibilities and then enjoying a tv show or rollerblading by the lake, for example, in the evenings.
Continuing in the next post