For proper context to this blog, please read: Day 204: Living patterns: Impatience: Morning Part 1
Form Part 1: I have been listening to the Quantum Mind Series on Eqafe. In this particular interview, Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 46, ‘What are Living Patterns and how to De-pattern Mind Presence to Discover your True Beingness within it’ is discussed. As I listened, I could definitely relate to what was unfolding, I experience specific patterns, of thought/feelings/emotions at certain times of the day, in the morning, afternoon and the early evening…In the next few blogs posts I will examine these patterns, through incorporating what I have learned from the Reptilian Series on Impatience (part 225-228).
Re-Programming Old Living Patterns: Impatience: MORNING PATTERNS
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how my beingness and personality merge throughout certain times in the day, creating a shift within me, an energy shift and I require to re-program me to stop this from running my daily life!
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I experience myself as overwhelmed each mid-morning and I accept this AS MYSELF-my real self-when my beingness behind this pattern could be the opposite-a being is facing tasks without mind interference/and physically practically gets things done, a being who is unlimited/undefined and /or NOT constricted by self-definitions from the past/free from blaming others/circumstances/time and as such does not allow emotions such as inferiority, incompetency, less than direct her into hiding/giving-up before she has even begun a task in any seriousness but faces and moves through/with/as life fearlessly (not recklessly, lol).
I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing/understanding that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an energy shift-mid morning-after experiencing myself quite stable in the early morning- in which I participate in a reaction of irritating impatience and a drop/shift in energy, after reviewing in my mind my daily tasks/responsibilities/to do list, I can see the same thought comes up, ‘There is just too much to do/I cannot get all this done’. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and an allowing myself to continually each day mid-morning think, ‘This is too much/I can’t do this’.
I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing/understanding how I have accepted and allowed myself to let this thought then direct /control my day, how I move myself, tell me who I am and what I can accomplish or not accomplish, thus limit me in my day to day actions.
I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing/understanding that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow fear to be in charge, as the foundation of this thought, the fear that I am ‘not enough’/capable/comparing myself to others who I perceive have more to offer/fear of ‘hard’ work and so instead I fall into the polarity of giving up AND/OR limiting what I BE-LIE-ve I am capable to accomplish so do not begin the first step of a goal, I just do the ‘little’ daily chores/tasks.
I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing/understanding that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in my imagination seeing myself having a nap/a cigarette/shopping/small chores in the car/phoning someone/seeing what tv show I want to watch that evening-as replacing what I perceive to be a negative energy experience (facing daily tasks and facing new goals-learning something new) with a reward/positive experience so that I ‘feel better’/relieved.
I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing/understanding that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the same backchat each mid-morning like, ‘I can do less today/what should I make for dinner?/nap/I can put a load of laundry on/I can do that tomorrow/when will I ‘exercise’?/maybe I’ll go to an AA meeting tonight if I get all my work done/I need to call X/I’ll just zip out in the car for a break…’ giving myself ‘an out’/excuses for not facing my responsibilities and new projects/goals first-so postponing-within each day and then wasting time having a nap in the afternoon (at least 1 hour taken up-don’t mind resting the body for 30 minutes each afternoon but this can be done in a chair downstairs not the bedroom). Therefore, time goes by, days turn into weeks, months, years and I have never changed myself/my living for real so as to accomplish certain goals.
In that, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand this happens because I have not established clear meaning and purpose within/towards my life and that I require to align my mind and physical living towards this meaning and purpose and then make the decision and DO IT!