Day 209: Changing my Thinking Patterns: Evening Part 6

Chain-Breaking_thumb[4]In this post I am jumping to evening thinking patterns because I have not been aware enough to `see`my afternoon thought patterns, lol. Will get back to those. As a reminder of what we are doing here, from the first post in this series, in which I looked at my morning thinking patterns:

I have been listening to the Quantum Mind Series on Eqafe. In this particular interview, Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 46, ‘What are Living Patterns and how to De-pattern Mind Presence to Discover your True Beingness within it’ is discussed. As I listened, I could definitely relate to what was unfolding, I experience specific patterns, of thought/feelings/emotions at certain times of the day, in the morning, afternoon and the early evening…In the next few blogs posts I will examine these patterns, through incorporating what I have learned from the Reptilian Series on Impatience (part 225-228).

So, in the evenings the main thought patterns I have identified are:*about my health like worrying about illness, exercise, diet, sleeping, the estrogen I take for night sweats, weight gain. I tend to slow down a bit in the evening so have more `time`to be thinking about life in general versus my `to do`list. I find I have created a connection between my nightly bath and obsessing about getting breast cancer or cancer in general, checking my body-breasts for lumps (which of course is suggested) but I find the thought of disease-illness pops in my head quite often. I find I worry about weight gain in the evenings, as in how much I am eating, how my diet has changed since being married again and go into blame and resentment towards my husband for this.*about money, as I do not have a tennent-student staying with us right now (because of renovations) but hopefully we will by January. I become the worried wife, fearful my husband will become resentful of me, that I am not earning as much right now, to contribute toward our monthly expenses. Then I go into resentment toward him that I need to earn anything at all.*about family members: my children, my siblings and my husband. Do I need to call or text anyone. Then I fuss about dinner, who will be here, what I should cook, will it get eaten, will I just be a wasting my time because no one shows up for dinner. I think about how much time is left in the day, what I have not accomplished and often go into a reaction of stress and worry about this, I wonder if there will be enough time for me to go for a rollerblade or a long walk at the lake with Pika (my dog) or to an AA (alcoholics anonymous) meeting.

*about tv, as in what show I will watch or if I will have time to watch the nightly news.

Interestingly, I can see that my focus is not so much on my body ( being in it, being as it, within each physical breath) BUT about my body! Lots of inner chatter and backchat, so thoughts about my weight, diet, disease, death, obsessive repetitive thinking patterns each evening (not suggesting they last long, but they are there nonetheless). These thoughts lead me into energy reactions, within the emotions of anger, powerlessness, fear, stress…which can lead to illness, the very thing I was thinking about! Hmmm

To continue

1239489_10152685498045942_353234984_n`Human Rights and the violations of human rights is directly related to Money. Currently, money is the blood of the system. And the soul of money is the blood of the people. We currently have a system that costs the blood of innocents by placing profit / self-interest before life.’ Bella Bargilly

Check out the Bill of Rights @ the Equal Life Foundation – a comprehensive approach to our Co-existence to ensure the Right to Life, Freedom and Dignity for All. Check out the Living Income Guaranteed with solutions that can be established in this lifetime to end the disaster of a profit driven system.

Check out the FREE Downloadables at EQAFE! Educational series with Insights and Practical Support. 
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