Please check out Guilt 1 and Guilt 2: From Guilt 1: …when I look at the nearly finished project I think, ‘Ah, it’s so awesome to have this done, it looks great’ but then very quickly -almost in the same moment- fall into a pattern of guilt. It is all mixed in with thoughts and memories of the past … So there are 2 areas of guilt I must examine and correct: *about having the money to have the home I have always wanted *about judging others in the past who had nice homes
TIME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
In 2 areas: within myself to put an end to the emotional reactions AND within the purchases I make, my commitment to use money carefully and thoughtfully so as to spend my time and money on what is important in this world, not just in self-interest!
However, it is something that had to be done, I am in a marriage and my partner expects me to perform certain tasks as I am half of that partnership! So I got the job of Girl Friday: driving back and forth to the building stores/clean-up which was extensive/organizing/assisting-another pair of hands when he was up a ladder/shopping/decorating and he did the vast majority of the physical building (we did require to hire some contractors).
When and as I see myself being possessed by this thought/thought pattern I stop, I breathe and bring myself back to my body, the physical, as I now see/realize/understand I require take responsibility for my mind/thoughts and the process of directing myself in a way so I am stable in every thought/word/deed. Therefore, I do not take this thought any further in my mind and I can simply move to get my tasks done. I understand I am not to judge another, I have not walked in their shoes/lived their life. It is simply to assess how and on what I spend money and to stand as an example. Thus I commit to not act in greed/be trapped by consumerism but consider how all products/services came to be made/offered and I commit to spreading the message of LIG (Living Income Guaranteed) as what is best for all life. As well, I commit myself to remind myself I am not this thought pattern, I am merely speaking to my memories and it is quite useless, I am aware of what needs to be purchased and how much to spend. I realize it is nearly done and I have learned much and enjoyed the renovation experience.
When and as I see myself being directed by fear of punishment around this thought I stop and breathe, I now see/realize/understand it is ME who I have to face, IT IS MY VERY SELF I must account to, who am I? what am I doing here on earth? what do I want to accomplish? how do I want to spend my time and money? AND THEN ACT ACCORDINGLY. No mystery, no secrets just reality.
The rest is nonsense mind participation, if I do not want/desire guilt and regret then I must move myself in a way which I am sure is best for me and others, I must consider myself seriously and consider what and who is directing me? Are the past experiences I have lived-as memories-producing my actions? These actions being: too much time spent on thinking about purchases, too much time driving around, too much indecision about purchases, too much emotion attached to purchases, too much money spent on some purchases. The answer to that question-Are the past experiences I have lived-as memories-producing my actions?- is yes! Thus I commit to breath awareness, focusing on what is before me during my day and making decisions of time and financial management with careful consideration.
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