ContinuingWhen and as I see myself participating in my imagination and having inner chatter around this issue of shopping for my main floor renovation I stop my mind, I breathe and take a moment to stabilize myself, to remember I am physical being with a real body. As I now see/realize/understand when I follow-engage in the imaginings of shopping with pictures of stores/other people/past memories it leads to/I start conjuring up internal conversations and then I AM NOT HERE, as I started the mind machine and it is off like the wind. I have lost my focus and direction, and instead am pre-occupied with superficial things in this world. I have lost my dedication to remaining with what is important, self-change and world-change, rather than contributing more to our consumer obsessed reality/societies. I realize there is a time and place to enjoy making purchases for items that we need/require BUT I do not require to interrupt my day with this mind interference. Thus, I commit to continue the process of self-growth, what I can become/do in this lifetime and to appropriately schedule time to plan for shopping and then enjoy shopping responsibly.
When and as I see myself going into energy reactions of emotions like: fear/guilt/self-pity/blame/self-doubt/anger/regret in and around this shopping issue stop, I breathe and return my awareness back down to earth. I remind myself to WAKE UP WAKE UP! As I now understand these energies eat away at the flesh, building up stress/anxiety causing me to feel nauseous, tired and nervous, thus I cannot focus on what is before me and I end up wasting time throughout my day/do not accomplish my goals. I commit to breathing through these energies when and as they arise and not allow the guilt possession to go any further. And so I commit to the process of being ever more aware/moving with breath so I do not allow these guilt thoughts to become energies, build up and then harm the physical body.
When and as I see myself creating consequence in my life and world because of participating in this pattern of guilt I stop and breathe and declare ’till here no further’. As I now see/realize/understand I am capable to assess on what & how much to spend on various items, this was an isolated incidence of a renovation, I learned from the work and the shopping about myself and about renovation, I do not wish to focus on being a consumer but rather just do it /shop responsibly. I commit myself to being an aware/responsible shopper, when I need to make purchases, as I do not want to contribute further to a system that is compromising life-so much abuse is apparent within the manufacturing/wholesaling/retailing/marketing/advertising industries-as our world system/money system.
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