Day 237: Ridding Yourself of Anger and Spite

aHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRjIuYnAuYmxvZ3Nwb3QuY29tJTJGLWVIOGdKNWpkZ1YwJTJGVW84NE1ReTFQNEklMkZBQUFBQUFBQUJ0YyUyRmNJVVphSWhCX2NrJTJGczQwMCUyRmxpdmUlMkJub3QlMkJleGlzdC5qcGc=I realize I have written about some of these issues in past blogs but the thoughts/emotions/memories are still coming up, as new layers of old anger/resentments, so I must walk this process until I am clear of all of it, until I can stand stable /absolute as life here.

There was a woman in my past who was very wealthy at a time I had no money, living pay cheque to pay cheque with debt piling up. I have a collection of memories that arise too often, that come with anger/resent and many accompanying emotions. As I am still relating to them (in process one slowly comes to the realization these are connective thinking patterns and I do not have to live them out/become them/beLIEve them anymore) far too much, although much less than I used to.One such memory came up this morning! As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I saw the nutcracker figure I had purchased yesterday and immediately fell into guilt that I had spent $6 on something I did not need and thought, ‘Oh well, it was hardly any money/such a great deal’. Immediately a memory of this woman came up of this woman saying things like ‘well, I don’t pay much for things, I got this for free at the side of the road, someone was thowing it out, you don’t have to spend much Sandy’ BUT what she neglected to consider-as many elite (including myself) do is: SHE HAD A CAR TO PICK UP THIS FREE ITEM, SHE HAD A PARTNER WHO MADE BARRELS OF MONEY so she could drive around looking for great deals, SHE HAD NO STRESS OF MONEY WORRIES AND SO HAD THE TIME and freedom-NO JOB- SHE HAD THE MONEY TO RECOVER/upholster THIS OLD CHAIR, ETC.Even typing this now I feel the anger energy within me for “all those rich/spoiled/self-righteous people who suggest they ‘don’t spend much, just get good deals’ and judge others as lazy/no initiative”, when the truth is if you are working 40 hours a week, just to survive and you remain poor, you are too tired/depressed to do much else.

I realize what I wrote above is a spiteful thought, but I must remain diligent and leave no stone (thought/memory) unturned. I will examine/deconstruct this thought, as part of the process to change me, in the next post.

To continue

aus_thumb3Join Us in the Process of ‘freeing’ oneself from Consciousness as Provided in the Desteni I Process LITE which is a FREE Course and the Desteni I Process PRO, and returning to one’s Source-Beingness and equal and one Physical Body Relationship.

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