From Part 1: I have been working on my Dip timelines, in which I am seeing how I fear speaking up/standing up for myself/ saying ‘no’ in family situations so as not to cause family conflict. I actually resist conflict because I feel inadequate to ‘handle it properly’…This is no longer acceptable to me as it is my responsibility to myself and others to stay out of energy and simply answer self-honestly in the moment.
From the above excerpt, we can see both the PROBLEM AND THE SOLUTION, the solution being a process, which I will walk here.
Thought: ‘What are they being so mean about? In common sense they don’t need the money and it was-I specified- an idea/suggestion, ‘what do you think?’ I stated. A simple ‘no, just send us the cheque’ would have sufficed. Damn, I have to see them next year at a wedding and probably at a shower or two. How will I handle this? I’m so angry at them!’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that others are aware/understand what I have experienced/what I am experiencing /how hard I worked/ how much I gave-contributed in the past to my ex-husband’s family. In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think if they are not aware of how I feel/what I’ve been through, they should be!
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think they are greedy and selfish and I am innocent of this.
I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the mind’s design of judgement, bouncing around in energies up and down within polarities. Where I judge myself as superior to them and feel quite confident within this assessment and then fall into the polarized reaction pattern of insecurity and fear where I see myself as inferior to them because they `succeeded`and made-received alot of money and I did not.
In that, I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotional reactions of: anger, resentment, spite, jealousy, pity, self-pity, blame, fear, in and around this issue, using characterizations in my mind, for example I am the poor/innocent/kind victim and they are the rich/mean/greedy ogres. Thus, I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my ex’s family, in my mind of illusion, instead of just being here in reality; I asked a question, they said no/answered, period, staying in practical physical reality, I owe them money and pay them back.
I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to use the past as experiences to determine who I am here, in each moment, so not being enslaved to what happened in the past but living self-honestly, communicating self-honestly, so I simply would have replied (I made no reply as I was in a reaction) ‘ok, I’ll send you a cheque, thanks for the loan’. Then I would be free, a master to nothing: not to my mind, not to the past, not to my ex’s family, not to money.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
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desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
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“What could have been, what has been, what can be, what will be, what shall be – all is unimportant. What is Here is all that any being ever has.” Bernard Poolman