Day 243: Healing Anger at my Ex’s Family: The Solution Part 3

woman-taking-off-mask1From Part 1: “ I have been working on my Dip timelines, in which I am seeing how I fear speaking up/standing up for myself/ saying ‘no’ in family situations so as not to cause family conflict. I actually resist conflict because I feel inadequate to ‘handle it properly’…This is no longer acceptable to me as it is my responsibility to myself and others to stay out of energy (emotions and feelings) and simply answer self-honestly in the moment.”  From this  excerpt, we can see both the PROBLEM AND THE SOLUTION, the solution being a process, which I will walk here.

Thought: ‘What are they being so mean about? In common sense they don’t need the money and it was-I specified- an idea/suggestion, ‘what do you think?’ I stated. A simple ‘no, just send us the cheque’ would have sufficed. Damn, I have to see them next year at L’s wedding (my daughter) and probably at a shower or two. How will I handle this? I’m so angry at them!’

Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself become angry, as an emotional energetic reaction of defense, in and around this issue of having to pay back a loan to my ex-husband’s family I stop and breathe. I make sure I am physically stable and out of my mind of opinions and memories and dealing with what is here in reality. I remind myself I do not control another’s reactions but I can continue the process of controlling my own, thus stand as an example of such stability. I realize I do not require t defend ‘myself’ as this ‘myself’ is but a character from the past. I can simply re-pay them without any mind interference. Thus, I commit to change me from an energy being to a being who moves in physicality with what is here.When and as I see myself participating within worry and fear, projecting myself into some future moment assuming ‘I will not handle it well’, I stop and breathe. I remind myself engaging in emotions around this issue is useless as it changes nothing, in reality there is nothing to worry or fear about as the issue is settled, I asked a question and they replied, simple. I make sure I assess the point as a physical reference, as what is a practical decision in the moment, and not an energy reaction based on the past or belief about myself (I am sweet/innocent/victim) or a judgement/opinion of another (that they are mean/bullies/greedy).

When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that others are- or should be- aware/understand what I have experienced I stop and breathe. I remind myself to turn the finger of blame back to myself and look at what is going on within me, as my self-responsibility, in reviewing do I understand myself/am I fully aware of what I have experienced or am I conjuring up memories that have been changed over time to suit my needs? I realize that I am not always going to get the response from people I desire, as people (my ex’s family in this case) will respond according to their own ideas and ways of doing things. Therefore, if another does not respond/participate in the way I had desired, I will support myself by leaving it and not judging another/having expectations and then reacting in disappointment. I thus commit to change me.

When and as I see myself participating in the mind consciousness system’s design of comparisons-within the polarities of inferior/superior, success/failure and confidence/insecurity- I stop and breathe. I realize that these polarities result in building up more anger/resentment within me. I no longer allow energies to control my decisions and communications . I realize that trying to create myself as an idea means that I am tunnel visioned and thus miss what is here in every breath. I remind myself to stick to physical reality around this issue, I owed them money and I paid them back, period, so I am free to enjoy myself when we are all together at the wedding!

When and as I see myself diminishing myself and my ex’s family, by separating us into limiting characters/personalities, which are based on the past, I stop and breathe.  I realize these characters in little boxes are based on the past, are memories controlling me within my mind participation, I can say ‘no’ when these pictures/imaginings arise in my mind. I simply allow myself to continue with my own self-responsibility and delete reactions as they come up.  I realize that building up anger in the face of repeated patterns only frustrates me. I no longer allow energies to control my decisions and communications. I make sure, when seeing them at wedding festivities, I am self-honest in my expression here, enjoy the event and their company.

cover_block_2Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

“What could have been, what has been, what can be, what will be, what shall be – all is unimportant. What is Here is all that any being ever has.” Bernard Poolman


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