Day 249: Free Yourself of Anger and Jealousy: part 5

energy-as-demon-possessionhappy sadFor proper perspective to this post, please read part 1-4

From part 1:  Problem: Within the above statement/thought there is a truck load of memories and associated emotions of resent/anger/jealousy, which chain me to the past. I am existing in separation from this couple, limiting both them and myself to ideas/characters which I hold onto to, to define all of us, based on memories of the past. Thus, I am unable to see what is here, as direct reality and unable to change what is here. Solution: Change my relationship to what is actually here in reality-from mind to physical-and thus change my relationship to myself and others, into what is best for all.

Thought: I always felt ‘less than’ going to their cottage. Why do they get the perfect life? It really makes me angry!

THE SOLUTION:  The daily process of applying the following commitment statements:  continuing

When and as I see myself falling into the mind pattern of:  comparing myself to this couple, being concerned about how they see me,  judging them as ‘bad/wrong’ because it is unfair they have so much and others do not, I stop and breathe.  I make sure to stop playing a role within self-pity/self-interest AND the savior personality, where I see myself and others as weak and innocent versus this wealthy couple as the villains and guilty. I realize to continue doing so is in fact limiting and imprisoning, me and others, in tiny boxes I have created in my own mind.  I remind myself our world systems and money system exists as they do because of all/each human beings continued acceptance and allowance over decades/centuries, indeed throughout time and it is all of our responsibilities to change it.  Thus, I commit myself to the process of bringing myself back to the physical, out of my mind of past characters and focus on reality and simple continue moving within my day.

When and as I see myself  having gone so far with this thought/thought pattern and subsequent emotions of anger and jealousy, that is is effecting my human physical body, I stop and breathe.  I remind myself to participate within such a possession is harmful to my body and does not change/solve what it is I am upset about.  Thus, I continue to slow myself down with breath, focus on what is before me-my physical environment until I am stabile and remind myself to not allow this possession to control me again.  I carry on with my day.

When and as I see myself thinking/beLIEving/perceiving that others are aware, or should be aware of how I am experiencing myself, in and around this thought/issue,  I stop and breathe.  I remind myself  who I am here, a being who is self-responsible as life and not a limited character based on past experience.  I realize I am abdicating my responsibility, by projecting and blaming another, and this is quite useless as it does not change anything, it is not a solution.  I also realize this couple were quite friendly and pleasant and behaved in ways that they were accustomed to/had their own way of doing things/dealing with things, and I was not a friend of theirs but a cousin’s wife.   Thus, I commit myself to the process of stopping all such blame and projection towards another, for how I am feeling/experiencing myself and direct myself by examining what is going on inside of me/my thoughts, writing about it and living the correction.

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