Day 258: Night Sweats 3: Re-writing the script

aHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRjEuYnAuYmxvZ3Nwb3QuY29tJTJGLUdHaFNRX211Z3Z3JTJGVVV1SGFfNjBaUkklMkZBQUFBQUFBQUJzYyUyRlBfd3VCUEpyUU1vJTJGczMyMCUyRndpc3Nlbi1nZWhpcm4tSEEtSGFtYnVyZy0uanBn9a39d-259720_118628354889641_100002274320770_182556_5708042_oFrom the previous post:   I have been waking up with nights sweats for I suppose 2 years now. It is very severe and continuous…I have been pretty diligent about not letting thoughts possess me but I noticed lately, the sweats seem worse and I am going into reactions more, like a hopelessness and panic/fear that I cannot cope any longer…I will deconstruct my reactions to these sweats within the thought:

‘I can’t take it anymore, is this ever going to end?! I could take the estrogen again and be perfectly fine, it is just a precaution for god sake!’

“If my current definition of  menopause/night sweat/hot flash contains all sorts of negative “baggage”, then the experience of the ‘hot flash’ will be worse than what it “really is” because  letting go of those negative attachments allows the person to breathe in the moment of the sweat   without all of the “self pity”, “misery”, “terror”, “fear of death” – or whatever one may have experienced before.  you may be surprised how much this simple thing can change your experience.   Very often our thoughts aggravate our experiences allowing yourself the simple act of breathing through this physical “transition” will be of great support to your body – essentially giving yourself the “space” to move through it with the least resistance.”  Cerise Poolman

Commitment Statements:  Re-Writing the Script

When and as I see myself thinking ‘I can’t take it anymore, is this ever going to end?! I could take the estrogen again and be perfectly fine, it is just a precaution for god sake!’, I stop and breathe.   I  remind myself it is important to me to take care of my physical body the best way I know how and studies have shown women who take estrogen increase their risk of beast cancer. Thus, I commit myself to not participate in thinking about the next sweat or thinking about how the night will go.

When and as I see myself comparing myself to others and judging myself as old/boring/unimportant/embarrassing because of writing about this issue/experience, I stop and breathe.   I  make sure I am writing my journey to life in self-honestly and as this is what I am facing day and night, it is appropriate to face this point and others write about what they are currently facing in their lives.  I remind myself I do not require opinions/memories/self-judgements, which only sabotage my process.  I remind myself the sweats are a physical consequence of every moment of my life, that I cannot change but I can change how I approach it/deal with it.  Thus, I commit myself to the process of remaining out of my mind and walking one breath at a time.

When and as I see myself particpating in emotional reactions of  anxiety, dread, helplessness, hopelessness, victimization, self-sabotage, self-blame, blame, impatience, self-pity and particularily fear, fearing the next sweat and fearing how the night will unfold/will I get enough sleep, I stop and breathe.   I  realize, since I have starting writing about this issue, the sweats have ‘calmed down’, as I am staying more and more with breath awareness through each sweat (and inbetween) I seem to be having less sweats during the day and night and they are less intense.  Therefore, I commit myself to continue using resolve and  dedication and know one day they will end, in time or by transcending them completely.

When and as I see myself engaging in inner chatter/backchat in and around this issue, I stop and breathe.   I see/realize/understand that it is quite useless and in fact only aggravates the situation even more to talk away inside my mind, as it builds up energies/feeds upon itself causing the body to react in a more severe manner than it would if I would simply remain here with breath.  I commit myself to the process of stilling/silencing the mind and continue on with my day, moving with my feet firmly on the ground.

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