Day 265: Fear of Illness And Disease 3

aHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRjQuYnAuYmxvZ3Nwb3QuY29tJTJGLW5hM3hQUy1zUkdJJTJGVVkzaF94VF9CNkklMkZBQUFBQUFBQUJ2QSUyRnIzcy1YeTJaYnlrJTJGczMyMCUyRmp1c3QlMkJkbyUyQml0LmpwZw==aHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRmltZzU2MC5pbWFnZXNoYWNrLnVzJTJGaW1nNTYwJTJGOTYzOCUyRjM1MDQ5MTU2Mjc1ZjAzNDM3MWY4ei5qcGc=For proper context to this blog please read:  Fear of Disease Part 1 and Part 2:   Can we eventually let go of fears completely, through a process of remaining stable in physical reality, moment to moment? …if I am fearing some future suffering/aging/death I am not ‘present’ here in this real moment and not able to enjoy/interact/notice  what is really here, I am missing out on and limiting myself and my experience, to what is all around me…

Healing Self by Re-Writing the Script

Statements of Self-Commitment And Self-Corrective Application

When and as I see myself going into ‘what if’  scenarios and then participating in a reaction of fear about getting  breast cancer, lung cancer, throat/mouth cancer, cancer in general, heart disease, diabetes, paralysis, dementia, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia, the flu, a cold, the latest mystery virus I see on the news, I stop and breathe.  I bring my awareness out of my mind and back to the physical as what is real before me.  I make sure I am focussing on what is practically before me, as in moving within my daily responsibilities and not lost in my imagination.  I also remind myself how I have become obsessed with imaginings when it comes to the health of my human physical body, I see this from the previous blog that I have imagained how I would feel if I got this or that disease, torturing myself for no reason, just fear playing upon fear and have NEVER REALLY BEEN VERY ILL THROUGHOUT MY LIFE let alone have a disease I HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN QUITE HEALTHY (I did have appendicitis about 12 years ago -not fun).   Thus, I commit myself to be grateful for the service of my physical body and to the process of stopping all such participation in  ‘the torturer’ character, fearing illness and disease, and deal with what is here in reality.

When and as I see myself lost in my mind of imaginings so not aware of my own body but just aware of the energy I am creating and existing as, I stop and breathe.  I bring myself back down to earth and feel my feet on the ground.  I remind myself if I am not physically here/aware I am at the mercy of the mind which flies off into fantasy land within thoughts/feelings/memories in a quantum moment.  I also remind myself that this can bring on /lead to self-harm as in fear/anxiety by thoughts of disease/illness/sickness.  I realize my pattern of fear is a automated program and unless I ‘tame the beast’/stop engaging and become the directive principal/force of my own mind, I am but a slave to the mind of energy instead of one and equal to what is reliable/stable/solid = the physical.  I realize I have been blind as to how I have stressed the body, allowing layers upon layers of memories building up, tearing away at the flesh.  I have been blissfully unaware,  too self-absorbed within my own mind and have often thought ‘but it is boring to always be just aware of the physical’ when in reality  the heart never misses a beat, moment after moment, if the heart thought it was boring and gave up I would be dead in a matter of minutes!  Thus, I commit myself to the process of breath and body awareness, to remain on the cutting edge of time, here in each moment so not leaving my body/abdicating my responsibility to my self, to love/respect the body as it has unconditionally done so for me for the last 53 years!

When and as I see myself going into fear when I have forgot to use hand sanitizer, I stop and breathe.  I bring my awareness back to the physical and make sure to wash my hands or use hand sanitizer as soon as I am able to and remind myself to not put my hands to my face/mouth until they are clean, in common sense.  I realize to react in fear is useless as it does not correct the situation but acting/moving physically to clean my hands does correct the situation.  I also understand sometimes we human beings get sick with a virus/cold/flu for various reasons and all we can do is  take the proper physical precautions to avoid these kinds of contagious illnesses, take care of the body when we do get ill, eat a balanced diet, listen to the body in common sense and enjoy physical movement, dance , run, play!

When and as I see myself going into fear when I do get a virus/flu/call back on medical tests , I stop and breathe.  I use the tool of  4 count breath and remind myself I am physical and focus on my body.  I remind myself reacting does not change the fact the I am ill or have to wait for some test result.  Instead I listen to my body and confirm, ‘I am here with you body’ and I ask my body what it needs to heal/how much time-rest does it need to heal?  I understand I have been sick/have had to wait for test results before and it is useless to imagine a more serious illness so to stick with reality.  I see I have not been respectful of my body in the past but I am in this process now and thus self-blame/self-criticism  is sabotaging and I do not participate.

completing commitment statements in the next post

 

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