Day 273: Changing versus Avoiding part 3

change 4 change 5From Part 1:   Avoid =  A  Void   Dictionary Definition: Void:  without contents; empty useless; ineffectual; vain.devoid; destitute, a gap or opening, as in a wall. a vacancy; vacuum.

So if I am allowing a void to exist in my mind, by avoiding/not facing certain issues, I am essentially saying to my mind, ‘oh, hey, here ya go, I’m not doing anything with this thought so you can take it and run with it’ and so abdicating any responsibility to what comes up in my own mind!

NOTE:  I am writing one forgiveness statement and one commitment statement for each issue here. However,  I have, in previous blogs, written about most of these issues  in detail, as in all of the mind dimensions:  Here are some of them:    Fear of Disease   Worry About Health    Shopping Guilt/Finances   Fear for the Safety of my Children    Insecurity/Inferiority 

Fear of Breast Cancer

I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting breast cancer/any cancer/disease and for participating in imaginations of feeling a lump, being in my doctor‘s office, getting tests done, then going into thought patterns which create reactions of anxiety and stress, in and around this issue.

When and as I see myself engaging in fear reactions around getting breast cancer/cancer/disease I stop and breathe. I make sure I assess the situation within physical reality and that I am going for exams/tests when/as the doctor recommends it. I remind myself I no longer allow energies to control my ‘who I am’/within and my day/movement without. I realize that the physical/substance can be trusted to perform in consistency, as in the beating of ones heart. Thus I commit myself to stay with the physical and not the fleeting and inconsistency of energy in the mind.

Fear of Being a Leader

I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when looking at the point of becoming a leader/hearing the words leader/leading/leadership, then going into thought patterns and backchat like ‘I am not capable of being a leader/I could never be an effective leader’, having images in my mind of what/who a leader is, specifically a tall, muscular man who is very commanding and ‘frightening’ looking and sounding, having expectations of myself of how/who I should/will be as a leader thus limiting myself, thinking ‘I do not have what it takes to be a leader, I am not smart enough, it is too difficult, I shouldn’t/won’t even try, I will just give up now, it will take to much time and effort to be a leader’. In that, I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in self-sabotage and abdicate my responsibility to create/build the patience and perseverance required within myself to support/assist another.

When and as I see myself reacting in fear to being/becoming a leader and interpreting this as a huge burden in my mind, I stop and breathe. I make sure I am assessing what is here in this physical moment as reality and not an image of what/who is a leader, in mymind. I realize these reactions/future projections are self-sabotaging as they can limit me, as I do not know what can open up as I walk my process. Thus, I commit myself to putting in the time and effort to become the living expression of the wordleader/leadership instead of focusing on my perceived limitations in my mind and then giving up.

Shopping: Guilt and Excitement

I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed in an energetic reaction of excitement around the situation of planning, shopping and then purchasing items for my daughter’s home for her shower/wedding gifts. In that, I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to then go into guilt and self-judgement because I have spent my money and time ‘frivolously’. I also see my mind goes to spending time and money on what I will wear, what my son and husband will wear on her wedding day. In that, I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and anxiety about money and having enough money ‘for the future‘, guilt about enjoying shopping for my daughter, anxiety and obsessing about getting her ‘everything she needs’ for her home.

When and as I see myself going into reactions and thought patterns of guilt about shopping for my daughter’s wedding/showers and fear of not enough money/finances in the future I stop and breathe. I remind myself to assess the situation in physical reality and not from the starting point of thought patterns/reactions in my mind. I realize I am enjoying myself within my daughter’s wedding celebrations and preparations. I see I am buying items she needs and a few to decorate her home. Thus I commit to breathawareness with my feet on the ground. I commit myself to the process of staying out of my mind of reactions of excitement and guilt, simply move in the physical to get things done and make decisions of time and financial management with careful consideration.

Finances:  Fear of Money 

I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in thinking patters from the starting point of fearing money in and around the issue of finances within my marriage. In that, I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in pictures and imaginations in my mind, which bring up the reactive energies of: fearanxietyworry, suspicion, greed, spite, paranoiagiving up (extreme thinking), superiority, victimization.

When and as I see myself going into thinking patterns of fear/worry about finances within my marriage I stop and breathe. I remind myself to assess the situation in physical reality , not from the starting point of ‘fearing money’ or from the past as experiences. I realize everything is financially stable now and my partner and I have a enjoyable and stable union. I also realize I have made clear/communicated to him several points I was concerned with in and around this issue and we have come to an mutual agreement. I see that he has always ‘stuck to his word‘, as I have, so far in our relationship. Thus, I commit myself to staying out of my mind of ‘what if‘s’ and focus on what is here in physical reality and how I can continue to contribute financially to our household.

aHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRjQuYnAuYmxvZ3Nwb3QuY29tJTJGLW5hM3hQUy1zUkdJJTJGVVkzaF94VF9CNkklMkZBQUFBQUFBQUJ2QSUyRnIzcy1YeTJaYnlrJTJGczMyMCUyRmp1c3QlMkJkbyUyQml0LmpwZw==DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support

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