From the first post in this series Day 275: I have been listening to the Atlanten’s Interview Series on Annoyance from Eqafe. It seems like it was done just for me, lol, as it ‘hits the nail on the head’ with regard to so many points, around learning something new, I have faced throughout my life. As usual, I am realizing the universe/god has not been ‘against me’ rather I have allowed my mind to interfere and this has stopped me from having the patience and perseverance required to face/take on a new task/skill/hobby… I can see that I bring the past with me to the task, all my memories and self-belief like, ‘I’m not good enough, I’ll never excel at anything, that is for other people, I’m average’.
When and as I see myself becoming annoyance and thinking, ‘This is just too hard and will take too long to learn. I’m tired and I can’t do it’ I stop and breathe. I make sure I am accessing what is here in this physical moment as reality and not continue running around in my own mind. I realize staying in my mind at that point only leads me further down the rabbit hole into creating energies that direct/control me toward giving up instead of me here facing what is before me to learn. Thus, I commit myself to remain with breath awareness in each moment and continue whatever is before me.
When and as I see myself going into a state of panic/fear of failure and then rushing, beLIEving I am ‘not good enough’ to accomplish the learning task before me I stop, I breathe. I remind myself to come back down to earth and out of my mind of fear. I realize this fear reaction is based on putting myself in some future moment of failure so that I give up! Thus, I commit myself to SLOW DOWN and remain focused, take the task point by point, so I am able to grow/expand/move forward step by step with patience and self-trust as my guide and not the pre-programmed mind, so I am no longer stuck as a character who is self-defined as mediocre’ based on the past.
When and as I see myself going into my imagination, either within failure/comparisons or the other extreme of seeing myself having already ‘succeeded’/perfecting the task and receiving praise, I stop, I breathe. I make sure am accessing what is here in this physical moment as reality, I ask myself ‘where are you? what are you doing?’ I realize the mind cannot distinguish reality from fantasy so interprets the learning as already done and I think ‘oh, this is done, I got this, I’ll get back to this later” and so I stop practicing/doing , which is an excuse to postpone the learning process. OR I imagine failure/compare myself to others and go into inferiority and so give up. I now understand, both behaviors are self-sabotaging. Thus, I commit myself to a new starting point of self-trust and self-responsibility, no longer based on the past but each here moment, to stand as an example for all for what it means to be life, Realising and living my utmost potential.
When and as I see myself participating in backchat/internal conversation and the energies of annoyance/frustration/inferiority/excitement in and around the issue of learning something new, I stop and breathe. I remind myself to check where I am in physical reality and what I was busy doing, before I got lost in my mind. I realize it does not support or assist me in any way when I allow conversations in my head or allow my mind and body to be possessed by emotional and feeling energies. The task is still there before me so it is quite useless and a waste of time. Thus, I commit myself to stop all such talking in my head, emotional and/or feeling reactions and focus on the learning.
When and as I see myself creating consequences in and around this issue of annoyance with learning something new, I stop and breathe. I make sure to bring my awareness back to physical reality before me. I realize by following my mind I never really get to know me/who I am within the new skill, what I am capable of. I only ever believe my limitations and not my potential, I only ever believe my thoughts of failure and not my beingness here as life. Thus, I commit myself to pushing myself more, using patience as in point by point/day by day, to the process of learning and eventually perfecting new skills/tasks.
Cool Google Hangouts: To watch and to join in! You can participate in live hangouts each week, ask questions.
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime