Day 289: Overwhelmed with Information ‘It’s too much for me to handle’

information information 2

I have been delving into the vast amount of knowledge and information online concerning the condition of my breasts, being ‘fine calcification’. The concern is DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In-Situ) a condition that is considered stage 0/or pre-cancer, which can become invasive cancer at any given time, they just don’t know.

Uh-oh, I am a typical addict, I tend to overdo/over think things,  fall into extreme thought patterns,  assume the worst, jump in too deep, rush, panic. This of course can lead to many emotional reactions (somewhat understandably) although I am reminding myself that the fear will come and then it is my job-in my awareness – to stop and direct the fear and so me as the fear. This is supporting me quite a bit.  I have now stopped, for the most part, following fear down it’s dreaded path, as it was also making me physically ill (giving cramping and digestive problems/tiredness/headache/sore muscles in upper body and face).

There seems to be no definitive answer where this topic is concerned, for every ‘This is the treatment in this scenario’ there is a ‘NO, don’t do that treatment, it will lead down the wrong path to where you are trying to avoid!’

The first day I was dedicating to investigation, I found several steps, with regards to diet, that I will take but many of them require steps within themselves ie. take the proper amount of magnesium (and D3 and K2) when you take calcium, thus I require to go to a naturopathy and have my magnesium levels checked in my blood. There was so much information I started scribbling down notes, getting messy and felt the panic like ‘there is not enough time/it’s too late‘.

What about thermography? The thermography people say repeated mamograms (intense flattening of the breasts) can end up causing breast cancer!  The mamogram people say it is the safest way and do not think thermography is good enough for a ‘high risk’ patient.  Radiation of course is proven to be a cancer causer but is recommended as treatment after a lumpectomy for woman diagnosed with DCIS!

I found the road to be twisting and turning, full of contradictions and paradoxes. With every ‘answer’ /solution/treatment there seems to be a ‘problem’ and I am circling in my mind.  I have had fine calcifications (they can see from previous mamograms) for 4 years at least so why not then just leave it? Because it can become cancerous, so take it out/remove it, well…that can lead to aggravating the breast and more calcification or other problems occurring!   Even the first step, the biopsy, has problems associated with it.

With a core needle stereotactic biopsy, the one I am suppose to have, some women later develop a cancer which occurs/is present along the needle tracks!  With surgery some women end up developing a lump/tumor at the incision/scar tissue site!  There are many who say no to this procedure altogether, which is often extremely painful, and choose to change their diet/lifestyle and keep a close eye on/watch for any changes in the breast.

find myself racing to find the answer/solution so it is OVER, like ‘I do not want this worry, I’m suppose to be stopping participating in emotions-especially worry/fear NOT having a new thing to fret about, damn!!’

I find myself rushing and racing because I fear I am not smart enough-more specifically- I am not competent/organized/capable to ‘wade through the muck’ (as Randy would say in his awesome post about breast cancer).  I get overwhelmed “it’s too much I can’t do it, I can’t decide what to do, someone choose the right magical answer for me, how do I discern what is best/the right approach here? I am not capable to come up with a treatment plan for myself and I don’t trust doctors to do it for me’   *NOTE:  I realize I have not had my biopsy yet but I can see how I require to make some changes now in my diet/lifestyle/mind-stress so as not to re-create this situation after treatment or alternatively as the treatment. Thus, I require to understand, to the best of my ability, the causes of this micro-calcification so how to either stabilize it/not re-create it/cause it to spread/cause it to become invasive cancer.

To continue

Please Read:   Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer
aHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRjQuYnAuYmxvZ3Nwb3QuY29tJTJGLW5hM3hQUy1zUkdJJTJGVVkzaF94VF9CNkklMkZBQUFBQUFBQUJ2QSUyRnIzcy1YeTJaYnlrJTJGczMyMCUyRmp1c3QlMkJkbyUyQml0LmpwZw==DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support

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