Please read the previous 2 posts : Overwhelmed with Information: ‘It’s too much for me to handle’ for proper context to this blog.
When and as I see myself time looping within thoughts that I am not competent/capable enough to handle/sort through information, and that I need to rush to get through the information, in and around this issue of the condition of my breasts I stop, I breathe. I remind myself to access/focus on what is here in physical reality and to slow down/not panic, thus stopping participation within my mind. I realize these thoughts/thought patterns are not supportive to my mind/body/being as they lead to emotions that can be harmful. I also remind myself I have re-defined the word ‘biopsy’ -specifically in relation to my situation- as ‘calm and gentle’ and I live this word through breath in each moment. Thus I commit myself to stop all such participation within these kinds of thoughts and continuing moving, within a flow of breath in the physical throughout my day.
When and as I see myself time looping within emotional reactions of: fear, worry, anxiety creating stress within my physical body around this issue I stop, I breathe. I remind myself to access what is here in physical reality and stop participation within my mind. I realize anxiety and stress are not supportive to my mind/body/being and serve no purpose but can be harmful. Thus I commit myself to stop all such participation within these emotions and to focus on the task at hand.
When and as I see myself creating physical consequences resulting from fear/worry/anxiety in and around this issue I stop, I breathe. I make sure to slow myself down by focusing on what is here in physical reality and I use breath to stabilize myself. I realize it is quite useless to allow myself to go so far with thoughts and emotions to cause changes in my body, as it does not change reality/what I require to do in the physical but going for test/creating a treatment plan are practical steps that I can take for healing. Thus I commit myself to take practical physical steps towards healing.
When and as I see myself going into thoughts like: there is no definitive solution/treatment for fine/microcalcifications , I am not capable to discern/choose the ‘right’ path for me to heal, I am wrong /bad/a coward to not have a ‘stereotactic core needle biopsy’ as it will be too painful (for one reason), that I will ‘pay’ for not doing what the doctors suggests, that there is no other alternative or I will choose the wrong ‘other alternative’, that it is typical of me to not comply to the accepted society norm I stop, I breathe. I realize I am quite capable to investigate this and come up with a treatment plan, I also realize I am not alone in this and have the support of my partner, other Destonians and medical professionals. Thus I commit myself to take daily steps toward healing, no matter the outcome of the biopsy (as the condition will still remain) so as to stabilize the breasts/not cause further harmful changes in the breasts as I walk within the process of increasing awareness-breath-throughout each day.
Please Read: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer
From Eqafe : My Life With Cancer