After listening to the Atlantean Eqafe Interview: Suppression: Energy Effects I found a memory which contains alot of emotional energy, spite and anger, that I need to face.
A neighbour of mine, who I had not met before, asked me the status of the house beside hers. The house had recently sold and was now empty and had belonged to a friend of mine. I noticed when this woman spoke to me she was not friendly but just interested in information, she seemed full of fear and anxiety because she did not want a monster home built beside her small home. I told her a builder had bought the home and was going to tear it down and re-build…but wait! The interview asks that I look at the memory for what really happened and not how I have ‘built it up in my mind‘, as each time we hang on to emotional reactions within a memory, the energy/emotions get layered inside of us and thus grow/intensify, so when I access the memory again it has all this additional charge in it, more and more as time goes on and this can change how I see what actually happened, in fact change the images/imaginations that come up in my mind so that the memory is not accurate at all! From the above link, ‘The memory can get fueled and charged so much that it can overwhelm/overtake/possess you.’
The memory that I want to examine is what occurred next, I went into my friend’s backyard (of the house she just sold) which is right beside this woman’s house. I was there with my dog Pika and Pika was just sniffing around. The woman came out into her backyard and started talking with an angry tone saying things like I should not be there, my dog might poo, I replied I had permission to check out the property and I had a dog bag. But she went on, I better not let my dog get into her yard and poo, I said there is a fence, well Jack Russell’s can dig and get under fences, I wouldn’t like that, that happened once….she went on for a while, very defensive/protective, very angry tone. I thought she was rude and mean. I simply said ‘have a nice day’ but I wanted to say ‘have a nice fucking day, psycho lady’. It upset me greatly but I looked at it and applied self-forgiveness and calmed down.
However, whenever I walk by her house now, or when I see her and/or her husband, the backchat starts, the imaginations start and I feel the emotional energies taking me over. I just want to spite her/get revenge for how rude and mean she was to me that day.
So, at the time I had thoughts like, ‘she’s so mean and unfriendly, she’s so fearful’ and also ‘how can I assist her?’ but I imagined saying something with spite hidden in it -so not really self-honestly supporting her but spiting her like, ‘I suggest you examine your fear and anger or it will harm you one day/eat away at you/come back and bite you’