Please read the previous post for proper context to this blog.
From the previous post: After listening to the Atlantean Eqafe Interview: Suppression: Energy Effects I found a memory which contains alot of emotional energy, spite and anger, that I need to face…‘The memory can get fueled and charged so much that it can overwhelm/overtake/possess you.’… looking at the memory today thoughts came up ‘she’s an idiot’ ‘i just want to put her in her place!’ with the emotion ofsuperiority.
I forgive myself that I haven`t accepted and allowed myself to see-realize-understand that within that thought I have placed myself in a superior position to my neighbor, making her inferior, in self-interest to make myself feel better about her complaining about my dog.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in judgement of my neighbor and react in blaming her for the situation, instead of seeing a problem and looking for a solution, that would be best for all, in that moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a memory of that incident, with pictures of her, and then morph into imaginations where I come out clearly `ahead` and` I get the last word this time`, kind of scenario.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in spiteful backchat within my mind like: I can`t stand that woman, now I see what my friend was talking about, she`s nuts, why is she so full of fear, stay away from unpredictable and mean people like that, she cannot be trusted` when I am learning ALL of this comes from inside of me therefore is existent within and AS ME, meaning I could react in a similar way in some future moment, thus it is my responsibility to face all of this backchat (inner dialogue in ones mind) as statement that are true about ME!
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in spite and anger to my own feelings of superiority (because I perceived I had become inferior in that moment) in relation to what my neighbour was saying about my dog and the house situation.
I forgive myself that I havn’t accepted and allowed myself to have a look at his memory for what it really is, to learn something about myself within it, to be able to deal with it, to investigate and introspect what within me changed in relation to the person or the situation that unfolded, within the memory.
I forgive myself that I havn’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how holding onto this memory within the emotions of anger, spite and superiority is me postponing my own process because as long as I have an emotional relationship to thismemory I cannot practically and constructively and with common sense look at all the dimensions that was involved with me, the situation and the person to see what mistakes I made, what I can learn from it and how I can change myself within it.
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