Please read From Suppression to Self-Expression Part 1 – Part 4 for context to this blog: You Can Re-Create Yourself: From Suppression to Self-Expression Part 1
From Part 1: Here I begin to examine my feelings of inferiority towards M, a point which has been suppressed within me my entire life. This is a new point that emerged when speaking with my DIP Buddy, as she assisted me to see how my reaction of fear was actually one of feeling inferior. I did not know that!
SOUNDING: ‘ Pow’-Her pow, as in kaboom, a big explosion, like EMpower her = EMPOWER ME
EXPLORE IN WRITING: I actually did misuse power when I used to drink and go to bars to meet men. There you go, I am not so innocent/only playing the victim once again, when I look in self-honestly. However, throughout my life I have mostly victimized myself, believing myself to be inferior, because of how I have lived in fear of men/authority figures/anyone I see as bigger/stronger/smarter, starting from my childhood as my dad was an intimidating, authoritarian ruler lol of the house. I felt silenced/unsafe/basically unloved by this male presence, he was unpredictable, he abused alcohol and would verbally/emotionally attack his children (I was the youngest of 4), he made his opinion clear on the hierarchy of life : white men, men, women, children and he used the word inferior often enough.
NEW DEFINITION OF POWER: The ability I possess in each moment here, to put the time and effort into understanding a situation/person and remain with it -out of my mind of the past and of fear of inferiority- to assess the best way forward in any given situation, within the physical, determining ‘best for all’ solutions, the goal being to EMpower myself/the other person/or the situation in a way that equally considers all involved.
Eqafe: Series on Suppression Starts here: Suppression: Introduction – Atlanteans – Part 218
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