Day 321: Realizing and Living My Utmost Potential: Self-Awareness

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Here I share my  ‘Desteni of Living’ –  my commitment too apply the following principles and to stand as a living example to others.  In coming blog posts I will be walking each individual Principle and how I am already Living the Example of each Principle and/or How I Walk a Practical Process of Self-Correction and Responsibility to Become the Living Example of each Principle. 

6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well.

So how am I living this/experiencing it?

* By slowing down.   Slowing down assists me to be aware of my physical body.  I can see/am realizing how I effect and harm my physical body throughout the day.  I see how it stiffens thus building and  then causes aches/pains in my muscles/joints and anxiety in my solar plexes and stomach areas causing nausea and digestive problems.

* By being more aware of the first ‘pixel’ picture coming up in my mind, usually as an image/picture or a word, and then stopping at that point versus following that first pixel.  This results in my being able to stay slowed down so I can respond/move in effectiveness/as the directive principal of me versus as a mind consciousness system, which is controlling my every thought/word and deed.  I can see I am doing this increasingly in my interactions with my partner/husband and so stopping reactions, yet allowing myself to express a point we are discussing in the moment.

* By examining my relationship with my daughter (I will also do so with my son in some future moment).  I can see  that, within that relationship, I often fall into imagination , seeing us sharing time together doing things I/we enjoy.  This sounds harmless however, when it is not a ‘looking’ –  which is me deciding in a moment to plan/investigate a point – it is just thoughts based on memories that simply ‘pop up’ in my mind, which can keep us both in limiting roles, in a box so to speak.  I now realize/understand (through walking a process within  DIP Pro/Eqafe Interviews) that I do this in self-interest because she represents something that I do not give to myself–time to enjoy shopping without rushing, buying her something and never myself, creating with food/crafts and trying out new things, being in a role of assisting and supporting, planning family events, etc.  However, as I participate in these imaginations it brings up feeling reactions of excitement, love, hope, anticipation, which build and build when we are apart (she is 25/lives few hours from me) lots of positive energy.  When there is the rise , there is the fall, high, low, excitement, depression…

Interestingly, I can see how this comes out as a fear, as the polarized  negative energy,  that I could lose her/this experience one day.  I can also see how imagination gets me into the habit on conjuring up an idea of our relationship instead of expressing my true being/self self-honestly in the moment, so our relationship is less authentic.  Thus, I have made a commitment to stop feeding into this pattern of imagination around my daughter and thus eliminate/reduce the fear that follows.  I will also do this by practicing giving these things, that I enjoy and project onto my daughter, to myself!  Does this take away from real time with my daughter?  Of course not, it actually makes it more enjoyable because I no longer limit our interactions to superficial imaginings and stops any expectations of the future with an energy attachment, where I can become disappointed if reality does not turn out as I had ‘imagined it’ lol.  Meaning, I don’t make our time together ‘more than it is’ by putting pressure /expectations upon it.

As well, I find there are times where I try to ‘buy’ my children’s love/time/attention by promise or talk about something, within an excitement/positive energy, and then I speak too fast.  This is done within self-interest (also to support/assist but there are elements of :  they will love me/respect me more if I do this, they could help/assist me in the future if I do this and I may need them).  I did this often, when my children were young and I was drinking and most often did not follow through with what I was ‘offering’.   I still find myself doing it today and I am becoming aware of it and commit myself to slowing down so I do not suggest something  that in reality I am not comfortable with or where I over-commit what I would be willing and able to provide.  Again, this does not mean I will not support them/plan a vacation with them/purchase something they need but that I slow down and consider all involved before I act/speak as it effects their lives equally.  In so doing they and I can trust my word.

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