I have been experiencing ‘crisis after crisis’ in relation to process, more specifically in relation to how my own mind is responding to process, over the last several weeks. I had been slowing down in order to stabilize some physical points (night sweats-thus lack of sleep-and digestion problems) that I could see are more severe when I am participating in emotional/feeling reactions throughout any given day.
I now see that I don’t need to stop my process- of investigating points through writing, self-forgiveness and corrective application- like, ‘first I will physically stabilize and then I will continue my JTL (Journey to Life) blogging’ or ‘I need to have all this stuff in my mind completely calmed down and organized before I start writing about it’.
Not sure where best to /how to start so I will simply start writing and -as I have seen over the last few years of blogging- things will begin to smooth out/flow/become more clear as I move along. Here and in future posts, I will be taking each point and deconstructing it in more detail, with the support of my DIP buddy (see: Desteni I Process Pro Course).
I have allowed the mind to speed up in the last 3-4 weeks-too many thoughts, moving too fast-and then participate in them by relating/beLIEving them/taking them literally instead of calming myself down with breath and body awareness the moment I see this has started. Then I related this experience to a past experience of when this same thing happened 20 years ago. I reacted to this memory with massive fear and fell into thinking patterns that looped in a vicious cycle, basically thoughts like, ‘I can’t stop the thoughts, they are coming faster and I cannot stop! I will go insane and die, or-even if I get through this- I will create disease in myself and die!’
NOTE: it was the word ‘suicide’ popping up in my mind that I was reacting to-like it was a solution/alternative-just like 20 years ago-I was not /am not in any way considering this as an option/solution to thoughts moving to fast lol- no way- I am here and in the process of becoming life, in a process of birthing myself as life in the physical. I will not allow one thought/the mind to trick me into beLIEving ending my life is a solution! The point here is to- not ignore or suppress but- face the thought and reaction of fear-in order to eliminate it from ones life. One would still have a memory of what occurred/the past but no longer experience the emotional connection of fear -that was attached to that memory/or word, simply see it , ‘yes, that it what happened and that is how Ireacted‘ and move on with whatever you were doing in your day/your reality. Thus, a process (overtime) to remove the harmful reactions: fear/anxiety/stress/self-blame/self-judgements, so one may learn to truly live, freely expressing in each moment, no longer allowing one word/memory/or any thinking patterns to control you.
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Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs