I have been experiencing extreme anxiety/stress lately. I seem to have constructed a whole panic system within me, thought patterns that are now activating in quantum time-meaning without even having the thoughts/emotions come up/ into my conscious awareness-just the body responding within a panicked state of : constricted throat, very tight chest and solar plexes, an overall feeling/experience of anxiety. This can be very frightening! Although I am working through this, now I am finding just accessing a MEMORY of a previous panic attack is enough to ignite the whole system/construct!
The series on Eqafe: Panic Attacks is proving invaluable.
I can see that my internal panic system is closely linked to RUSHING
Anything I have created within me I can re-create/change! Time to change!
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too fast in my mind, and then to speak too fast, where I am connecting a reaction of worry and fear, in relation to reviewing/listing in my mind, all the responsibilities of the day and then thinking, ‘there is not enough time to get everything done!’.
I forgive myself that I havn’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the act of rushing in reality can cause one to be late-the very opposite of what I want to occur. I realize I saw my mother in this kind of rushing/worrying state often and she was often late for things, so I learned this behaviour very young- as saw her in this state often-almost everyday of my childhood.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush around at family gatherings and parties, where I react with worry/stress at feeling responsible for everyone to be having a good time/enjoying themselves, make sure everyone is ‘ok’, believing I am responsible for making sure the older people are ok because if I don’t they will be ignored, believing I am responsible to serve everyone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within emotional energy to the extent where it has mentally and physically stressed myself and my body to the point of conditioning me and the body into a panicked state.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the extent to which my participation in emotions had effected my mental and physical state.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so disconnected from me and from my body that I have not seen, realized and understood how great an effect my emotional states can have on me and my body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to -not for a moment- stop, for a moment breathe and for a moment see and ask myself ‘ what am I doing to me? what am I doing to my body? is this the experience that I want to create for me? is this the experience that I want to create for my body?’
I commit myself to change from an energy being to a physical being, by slowing down and to move with breath, which is moving with and as the physical, within equality and oneness with and as life: 4 counts in, hold 4 counts, 4 counts out, hold 4 counts.
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