Day 367: BLAMING MY PARTNER FOR MY OWN REACTIONS: PART 3 -Ego & Appearance

fuzzy hairHere I am sharing the self-forgiveness that I am walking in my DIP course (Desteni I Process Pro) in relation to my how I react to my partner.

Continuing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become ego, and as ego react to my appearance within self-judgement, nervousness, fear, and self-victimization.

In that, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am giving my hair and appearance a negative charge stirring up energies of a helplessness, which harms my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become inferiority, where I connect the reactions of self-judgement and ego because my hair is frizzy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a self-belief within and as me, that I need to ‘look pretty’ for the man in my life because it gives me value.
In that, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that it is life itself, and myself as life, that has value and life requires nothing for this to be true.  I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to value myself as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself and my appearance to that of other women, where I am participating in the mind‘s design of competition.
Within this, I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear, worry and insecurity based on my perception of how A will react to seeing/meeting other women at work each day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jump to the worst possible scenario/think the worst.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fall into inferiority, where I am victimizing myself by projecting onto A my own reactions of fear, insecurity, helplessness to not looking a certain way when he comes home.
In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think there is a specific/certain way to look to be pretty/sexy/desirable instead of simply being clean, neat, and comfortable with /as myself here.

I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to cause physical changes resulting in pains and stomach issues and lines on my face/forehead.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the design of inferiority, where I connect the emotional reactions of fear, nervousness, and insecurity in relation to A coming home and me not wearing any make-up.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I have created an idea in my mind and thought patterns where I am giving wearing make-up a positive charge and connecting the words pretty, beautiful, & giving me not wearing make-up a negative charge, while connecting the words old, ugly, plain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my beliefs about beauty/female appearance onto A, where I go into superiority, jumping from the polarity of feeling inferior so to avoid looking deeper at the truth of me, and where I connect thereactions of blame and anger.
In that, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am victimizing myself by jumping within extreme thinking /polarities of inferior to superior by following visions/imaginings of leaving A and getting my own apartment, thus running away /hiding from the opposite sex, as a solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself and my body into a relaxed state at the thought of running away/isolating myself instead of facing myself and sharing myself with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then swing into the bullying character, where I react with guilt after I have judged another, instead of simply slowing down and looking at reality, that A does his best to be supportive and loving in all aspects of our partnership.

I forgive myself for not realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into self-judgement and self-blame around this issue of make-up and A.

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One thought on “Day 367: BLAMING MY PARTNER FOR MY OWN REACTIONS: PART 3 -Ego & Appearance

  1. Gracias por compartir! Aqui cabe decir; o nos aceptamos y abrazamos todo lo que somos ahora para cambiarlo, como dice Bernard poolman, o seguimos viviendo los mismos ciclos uno a uno, dia tras dia , sin reventar esos eslabones de esa cadena que nos mantiene atrapados a una esfera tan pesada que no nos permite liberarnos

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