DAY 370: BLAMING MY PARTNER FOR MY OWN REACTIONS: PART 6: Money

inhertinace

Here I am sharing the self-forgiveness that I am walking in my DIP course (Desteni I Process Pro) in relation to my how I react to my partner.

Continuing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger when A said he wants to keep his money and my money (that we inherit) separate, where I am victimizing myself within a self-sabotage by going into nervousness, anxiety, worry, fear, ego & where I am putting myself forward, in some imagined future moment, within a paranoia that he is against me, L, and M (my children) and protecting only him and N (his daughter).

Within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I was rushing my thoughts, following down a raging river (or lightening bolts of energy) instead of realizing this was one of the first conversations we had- about inheritance -and these issues can be difficult to discuss & I could simply listen/hear him and then calmly share my thoughts/ideas/concerns, like a flowing stream.

inheritance 3I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then fall into a reaction of self-doubt, self-blame and self-judgement, where I am connecting further emotional reactions of powerlessness and helplessness, confused as to my reaction to A instead of being kind and patient to me and slowly looking at the point.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that in my rushing I am manipulating my body, going into tension and tightness, causing an uncomfortability, which further exasperates the mind of fear, creating more thoughts and thought patterns.

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