For proper context to this blog please read: Connecting with my Body – Part 1 & Part 2
From Part 1: What does it mean to stay with my body and breath? In the last few days I have been practicing breathing, while focusing on my body and the word ‘calm’ and adding the word ‘gentle’. Specifically, I focus on a central point in my body, with the in breath, as the solar plexes area and on the principle of ‘stilling my waters’/calming my waters…I will examine this self-sabotage within the thought, ‘Omg, what if I start thinking when I am focusing on being in my body/stilling my mind, what if it stops working!’
Commitment Statements–Becoming & Living the Change!
When and as I see myself participating in backchats, where I go into emotional reactions in a quantum moment, which then directly creates instability in my body temperatures I stop, I breathe. I remind myself that THE MIND’S PURPOSE is that of constant friction/conflict – erratic fuzzy fast buzzing vibration – where I am living with no clarity of purpose/running in fear causing consequential aches and pains in my body, sweats day and night and horrid nausea. I realize MY PURPOSE: still my waters as becoming the living word ‘calm’ = stability, hereness.
When and as I see myself falling into emotional reactions of fear, frustration, worry, helplessness, hopelessness, self-pity, self-sabotage – in relation to night sweats-all fueling the mind as it is building up and storing anxiety energies within me AND/OR the positive feeling reactions of: excitement, relief, happiness, hope, anticipation – if I had a night where I did not have as many sweats/a good sleep – I stop, I breathe. I remind myself that when I see I have left the stability point of ‘calm’, instead of panic/react by essentially electrocuting my waters-throwing lightening bolts into my body/being = waters, I simply direct my beingness/awareness back into my body, meaning BREATHE/GROUND/STABILIZE/FORGIVE/RELEASE.
When and as I see myself wanting to give-up in relation to the process of consciousness to awareness-specifically here, body/being connection-where experience myself as inferior to the process of moment to moment awareness I stop, I breathe. I remind myself to focus on what is before me in my day, move /flow as I accomplish daily tasks. I realize this wanting to give-up is fear, fear of failure because I tell myself a task is too difficult, but this is only the mind racing/rushing and I realize when I break it down/look at any task point by point facing one small piece is NOT TOO MUCH. Thus I commit myself to stop all RUSHING (R U S self H here?) then fear cannot survive in the mind, as there is nothing to react to, as I face one small piece at a time.
When and as I see myself becoming self-sabotage AND/OR holding on to a self-belief that someone ‘above’ me/superior to me has to approve first for me to succeed in a way that is real and lasting I stop, I breathe. I remind myself to bring my awareness back to here, I am not a child anymore, there is no older/bigger person (usually a male authority figure) in my life that I fear has power over me. I realize to give my power away to another victimizes me, as it puts me in a master/slave relationship with another, where I abdicate my responsibility to myself and my world, by blaming the other and this is useless as nothing changes/keeps us both stuck in roles which are limiting to self and to our world. I can see it is rather to understand than to judge, that is important here, and I do understand it is ultimately not the person in my life-past, present or future-that is to blame/judge/hate but the systems that we as human being have collectively created and allowed to exist on earth, as in: the money system/the government systems/the economic/legal/corporate/education/healthcare/banking/etc. systems. Thus I commit myself to put my time and efforts into changing these systems, in the big and small, so they exist in one and equal alignment with that which is best for all = a dignified life for all = a life worth living FOR ALL. I understand, as life source substance, we are all in fact equal here on earth, no one more than another. Thus I commit myself to live the word calm by using a gentle in breathe and focusing my attention/awareness on my solar plexes-while I hold a few moments- and relax my whole body-creating a stability- on the out breath.
When and as I see myself behaving in a way that causes/brings on changes in my physical body of pain, sickness/illness, thus manifesting a number of consequences: taking time away from my day, being tired and lethargic throughout the day, becoming discouraged with myself and giving up on myself, & changing my interactions with people I stop, I breathe. I remind myself to live the word CALM – as a steady, stable flow versus the word CONSTANT which sounds like a demand. I realize there will always be some energy-as movement- that is automated (as the ongoing functioning of the body and internal organs) thus calm can also be like the ripples in the water (& thus the rippling effect outward into the world). I realize the mind must -for the most part- become still, and I create this stillness by becoming the directive force/awareness of myself in EACH MOMENT through breath- eventually, one will be able to direct the body as one becomes more aware of it and it’s functioning, in each moment. Thus I commit myself to connecting with my body with each breathe = stilling my waters = as a soft flow vs constant demand/vigilance.
BECOME THE LIVING WORD
Eqafe Series – The Crucifixtion of Jesus
an alcoholics journeytolife 